Sweet Deception
by Slytherin-Essence
Summary: When Fred and George make a jelly bean that makes you fall in love with anyone you see, very odd things start happening at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unusual relationships, overexcessive snogging, and plenty of humor await you... R&R OVER
1. Fred and George's New Scheme

**Here's a list of some of the ships:**

Ships: Hermione/George, Hermione/Fred, George/Fred, Hermione/Harry, Hermione/Ron, Harry/Ron, Hermione/Draco, Draco/Draco, Draco/McGonagall, Draco/Snape, Ginny/Suit of Armor, Ron/Parvati, Lavender/Neville, Colin/Random Girl, Colin/Harry, Harry/Cho, Draco/Crabbe, Dumbledore/McGonagall, Draco/Pansy, Neville/Fred, Neville/George, Lavender/Fred, Lavender/George, and more...

ENJOY!

_**CHAPTER ONE: Fred and George's New Scheme**_

"There we go," said Fred. "I think I'm done." He held up a jelly bean and smiled at his success.

"What do you mean 'you think you're done'?" asked George, surprised. He took the bean.

"Look, I think I'm finished."

"No you're not! You're far from it!" George threw the bean back at Fred and looked down.

Hermione walked in and saw Fred and George's cauldrons, vials, and everything else they used for their joke-making.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. She had a bad feeling, but she quickly shoved it aside.

Fred and George turned, saw it was Hermione, and scrambled around, trying to hide their things.

"N-Nothing at all," said Fred, nervous. He knew that if he told Hermione about it, she would turn them in.

"Yeah, can't we hang around down here in the dungeons?" asked George.

Hermione looked at them. "No, you can't. You hate the dungeons."

"Well, who says that we can't like them now?" asked George.

"Yeah," said Fred, "we've decided that we need to be more open with our horizons."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hermione impatiently.

"It means we've decided to explore around the castle more," said Fred innocently.

Hermione shook her head. "Whatever," she said. "What are you two making this time?"

"A love bean," said Fred.

George hit him. "You weren't supposed to say anything!" He resisted the urge to hit him again when Hermione broke into his thoughts.

"A love bean?" asked Hermione, confused.

"Yeah," said George. "Since Fred already ruined it, ask him about it."

"The love bean is designed to make you fall in love with anyone that crosses your path," said Fred. "We're working on making it just the person's gender, though." He looked disgusted at the thought of girls and girls and guys and guys, but he just frowned and shrugged.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You two come up with some of the weirdest things! How do you expect people to fall in love with everyone else?"

Fred held up a bean. "Try it. You'll see."

Hermione took the bean. "You two are weird." She put the bean in her mouth and swallowed. The bean was tasteless, and that was shocking to her because it looked really sweet and like...well, like a normal jelly bean. There was a pause.

"Well?" asked George. "Anything happen?"

"No, you silly goose!" said Hermione. "But..." She looked at George more closely. "George," she said, "you never told me you were so handsome." She was thinking about this, knowing it was wrong and disgusting, yet she couldn't fight the fact that she was attracted to him.

Fred stepped in front of George. "OK, Hermione, don't fall in love with the creators of the bean."

Hermione stepped up to him. "Fred," she said calmly. "Kiss me!"

"WHAT?!" said Fred, quite taken aback. He was a little afraid of this side of Hermione, and quickly felt bad about giving her a bean.

"You heard me, you fool!" said Hermione. "Kiss me!"

And with that, she grabbed Fred and locked her lips to his. The kiss lasted a while, and it was quite wet, and George just stood there with his mouth open. Fred, however, felt rather passionate about it.

"Hermione!" said George. He took a bean. "This better work." A couple of seconds later, he said, "Hermione, how could you?"

"What?" said Hermione, confused.

"That should've been my kiss!" He walked up to her and grabbed her and started to kiss her. When they were done, George looked at Fred. "Fred," he said in a sexy voice. "You never told me..." Inside, he knew that was absolutely disgusting, but like Hermione, he couldn't stop himself.

"OK, shut up," said Fred. "You're done. George, we could make money off of these. Think of the profits!"

"But, Fred, darling," said George. "We could have SO much more fun than just money."

Fred looked at him in horror. "OK, this conversation is officially over!"

"OK, OK," said George. "You know, the effect wears off after a bit. You aren't sexy anymore." He thought about his recent actions and shuddered.

"We're going to need to fix that," said Fred. He looked at Hermione. She looked upset. "What's the matter, Hermione?"

She looked at him. "I can't believe I kissed you!" she said. Then she looked at George. "I can't believe I kissed you either! Yuck!" She as well thought of her actions and felt like she was going to be sick.

On her last note, she ran out of the dungeons and left Fred and George by themselves.

"All right," said Fred. "Let's work on the after-effects."

Hermione ran through the portrait hole and looked for either Harry or Ron. She was afraid to tell Ron, but she felt that it might be better.

"What's the matter?" came the voice of Ginny behind her.

"Oh," said Hermione, shocked. "N-Nothing. I'm perfectly...peachy." She was afraid of Ginny as well, and she didn't think she would be.

"Peachy?" asked Ginny, raising an eyebrow. "You seem to have expanded your vocabulary recently."

"Y-Yes, I-I've decided t-to...erm...oh fine! I kissed your brothers."

"ALL SIX OF THEM?" shouted Ginny, backing up.

"NO!" said Hermione, shocked. "Fred and George." Her heart beat faster as she was afraid of Ginny's response.

Ginny gave her a death glare. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" said Hermione. "I didn't mean to! They put a spell on me!" She felt very frightened now and started to back up slowly.

"What's wrong with them?"

"Hey!" said Hermione, getting a little angry. "Watch who you're calling ugly!" She stepped back forward.

Ginny shuddered. "Not that I care or anything, but...um...how were they?"

Hermione looked absolutely revolted. "What did you just say to me?" She furrowed her brow.

"I asked how they were. Penelope told me George was pretty good, but she never got around to Fred."

"Penelope? I thought that was Percy's girlfriend."

"She got tired of him mid-relationship. He still doesn't know, so I'd keep that under wraps if I were you. Which, at this moment more than any other, I am proud that I am not."

"Whatever," said Hermione. "I'm going to go to bed." Hermione walked up the stairs, but stopped halfway and turned. "Yes," she said. "They are good. Very recommended." She smiled to herself and went up the stairs.

Harry and Ron piled through the door an hour later, laughing.

"Did you see the look on Snape's face?" asked Ron. "He never would've believe the potion would actually have made him naked!" He contorted his face into his best mock-impression.

"I know!" said Harry. "But, mind you, I didn't really like the show...except for his face." He laughed at Ron's interpretation.

Ron laughed. "That was priceless! Fred and George come up with the weirdest things."

"I know," said Harry. "Come on, let's get to bed. We have to tell Neville, Dean, and Seamus all about that."

"OK. I still can't believe Snape. That was funny."

"It was."

They entered their dormitory.

"Neville, Seamus, Dean!" said Ron excitedly. "Harry and I just did the weirdest thing ever!"

"What?" asked Neville.

"We were down in the dungeons, and Fred and George had given us a potion -- ingredients of rabbit eye, snake tail, and dragon scale -- and we used it on Snape and he lost his robes." He laughed at the thought again.

"What?" asked Seamus. "That's completely barbaric!" He looked at Ron and Harry as if there were something he needed to know about them.

"It was blinding, believe me," said Harry. "But it was still funny! You should've seen the look on his face!"

"That seems funny," said Dean, "but not necessarily something that I would want to picture."

"It wasn't the best sight either," said Harry.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ron. "He had nothing to show!"

Neville laughed and Seamus through a pillow at him. Harry and Ron got undressed and went to bed.

The next morning at breakfast, there seemed to be an awkward silence coming from Hermione. She stared down at her plate and moved the food around it, looking as if she didn't even care.

"Hermione," said Ron. "What's up?"

"Hmm?" asked Hermione. "Oh, nothing. I was just...thinking."

"About what?" asked Harry.

"The um...the Potions exam."

Harry and Ron smiled.

"I'm never going to think of potions in the same way," said Ron.

Hermione looked at them. "What are you talking about?"

Harry smiled. "Nothing. Just a potion that Fred and George told us about."

Hermione shuddered. "Don't ever talk about Fred and George in front of me again," she said, turning an odd shade of red. She looked farther down and stopped moving her food around.

"Why not?" asked Ron. "What potion did they put on you?" He leaned in, raising an eyebrow and smiling. "Did they make you naked?"

Hermione slapped him. "No!" She rolled her eyes. "Ron, you have serious mental issues that I think you need to work out! Now I'm not going to tell you why you can't talk about them!"

Ron sighed. "Man! You always keep your mouth shut at the wrong times!"

Hermione slapped him again. "You are such a jerk!"

And on that note, she stood up and walked out of the Great Hall.

"Ron," said Harry. "You're a dinglebat."

He got up and left for Hermione.

Ron shrugged, looking confused. "What did I do?"

Transfiguration was the first class of the day. Today they were turning corn into jelly beans. Hermione looked particularly disgusted with the assignment.

"What is wrong with you?" asked Harry. "You all of a sudden have an obsession of avoiding Fred, George, and..." He looked down. "...jelly beans?"

"OK, if I tell you, do you promise not to tell Ron? Or anyone else for that matter?"

"Yes, of course." The look in her eyes told him she was serious about this.

"Well, Fred and -- "

"OK, class," said McGonagall. "I see that most of you are doing particularly well, so I'm going to say that you guys can pack up for the day. Do not leave the classroom or you will find yourself in Dumbledore's office before you can say 'I took a magic jelly bean and it made me fall in love with the door.' For one, that wouldn't be an excuse anyway, and two, don't even try my patience."

The class began packing up their things and Harry leaned in close to Hermione, wanting to know. Ron came up behind them right as Hermione opened her mouth, and she quickly shut it again.

"I can't believe McGonagall!" he said. "It makes me so angry that she made me sit all the way on the other side of the room!"

"Ron," said Harry. "You are the biggest moron that ever walked these grounds. Actually, make that the biggest moron who ever stepped foot on this earth."

With that, Harry walked away, leaving Ron confused again, but at least this time he was with Hermione.

"What did I do this time?" he asked.

"Oh, Ron!" said Hermione. "Don't you ever learn? Harry and I were apparently trying to talk about something, and you, as usual, had to come over and ruin everything! I just don't know when you'll learn, Ron, but I hope it's one day soon because what I had to tell Harry was really important and you -- you couldn't know! You just can't know! It's too dreadful, Ron, and you'll kill me, I know it!" She looked at him, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't press the situation.

"What happened, Hermione? If you can tell Harry, you can tell me! It's not like you went off and made out with Fred and George or something."

Hermione looked at him. "How bad would that be, exactly?"

"What do you mean, Hermione?" Ron asked slowly.

"On a scale from one to ten, one being 'I don't care', and ten being 'What the hell is wrong with you?', what would it be?"

"Hermione, this is very suspicious. The anger would probably be at about a five, meaning I'm not quite sure what to think, but I think that you made a very wrong decision."

"OK," said Hermione. "I made out with Fred and George."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Ron, that was option ten and you said it would be a five."

"Hermione, shut up! I don't want you messing with any more of my nerves today. I think that I am finished talking to you until you go to the wand shop and buy a wand that will give you a brain!"

"Ron, that was exceptionally mean! And besides, you haven't given me an opportunity to explain myself yet! So why are you freaking out so bad?"

"OK," said Ron. "Explain yourself."

"Well, Fred and George have decided that they want to make a jelly bean that would make you in fall love with anyone that you lay eyes on. So, me being fortunate enough to walk in on them, got to test it. So then I made out with Fred because he got in the way of George and then George took one. Then George got jealous and then made out with me and wanted Fred and then the affects wore off and I left. I didn't want to tell you, Ron! I knew you would be mad!"

"You I am no longer mad at," he said. "They, however, have officially thoroughly disgusted me. I wonder what Mum would say if I told her that George hit on Fred after he made out with you."

"Don't do that," said Hermione. "She'd kill me too, remember?"

"Right, right," said Ron. "I wonder why they would do such a thing. I mean, why would they want people to fall in love with whoever they lay eyes on?"

"I don't know, Ron, but it's really disgusting."

"Oh, so I didn't have to leave," said Harry, walking up to them. "Sorry I snapped, then, Ron."

"It's all right, mate. But I think you should hear Hermione's story. It definitely tops Snape! So, Hermione, Fred and George are good, are they?"

Hermione slapped him again. "Ron, you are a perverted wizard! You need to go to St, Mungo's and get professional help!"

"Wait," said Harry. "Hermione? You snogged Fred and George?"

"No!" said Hermione. "Now you sound like Ginny thinking I made out with all six of the Weasley boys! I only made out with Fred and George when they gave me a bean they'd been working on."

"Are they going to sell them?" asked Ron. "They could make some money. I'd buy one."

"Ron, if that's your way of getting down my throat, it's not very good. And besides, they're working on getting the effect to last."

"The effect wore off?"

"Yeah! If it didn't, you'd see me making out with everyone in this class! It's designed to make you fall in love with ANYONE YOU SEE!"

"Oh, right."

"Hermione, you know that it's kind of creepy to think about you making out with Fred and George, right?" asked Harry.

"Yeah," she said. "It even sort of scares me when I take enough time to think about it. Or repeat it, at least. Anyway. What was it that you two were talking about at breakfast earlier? Something about a potion Fred and George gave you and Snape?"

"Well, just the potion made Snape go naked, that's all," said Ron.

"What?" shrieked Hermione. Some people turned their heads to see what was the matter. "That's preposterous!" she said, lowering her voice. Everyone continued their conversations.

"I know," said Harry. "But as Ron clarified last night, Snape had nothing to be worried about -- or, at least, he had nothing to show us that he had to be worried about."

Ron and Harry started laughing and gave each other high-fives.

"You know," said Hermione, "you two think that it's rather disgusting to think of me kissing Fred and George, but thinking of you two seeing Snape naked is even worse! Or even thinking of Snape naked in the first place!"

"Class dismissed," said McGonagall over all of the talking voices. Everyone headed for the door, continuing their conversations.

"It was disgusting," said Harry. "But at least you got SOME sort of pleasure out of your little dilemma!"

"Oh, shut up," said Hermione. "You two are never going to leave me alone about that, are you? And besides, I was under a spell anyway, it really wasn't my fault! You two should leave me alone about it."

"Ah, go on, Hermione!" said Ron. "We're only teasing you! And besides, I think it's rather funny now that I've gotten over the shock. It's kind of romantic as well if you take the time to think about it."

"Funny? Romantic? That definitely wasn't the goal I was aiming for when I was sticking my tongue down their throats. At least, funny wasn't. Romantic is perfectly OK with me. You two should be jealous, I wouldn't doubt that you could take lessons from them."

"Ew!" said Ron. "Take lessons on making out with you from my brothers? I think I'll pass on that one, Hermione. Thanks anyway though."

Hermione slapped him again. "No, you idiot! Take kissing lessons from them anyway. I bet you could go get a bean from them now and get lessons; the effect will be over by the time the lesson's over."

"Hermione, that's disgusting," said Harry.

"Yeah!" Ron agreed.

Hermione kissed Harry, then Ron right after. Harry felt like maybe she liked him, and Ron, as usual, was completely confused.

"What was that for?"

Hermione licked her lips.

"I was seeing if you guys needed to go get kissing lessons from Fred and George."

"And?" asked Ron.

"Definitely. No offense, but you two suck."

Harry grabbed Hermione and gave her a real kiss, tongue and all. He loved kissing her and not having her pull away. Ron did the same right after Harry had his way with her.

"My turn to ask," said Hermione.

"Well, you just gave us tiny pecks," said Harry. "Now that we've actually kissed you, you should tell us if we need lessons or not."

"I still remain with my decision," said Hermione. "You both still suck."

Fred and George laughed as they tried to make the effect last.

"Well, I'm not sure how to do it," said George. "It seems bloody impossible, don't you think?"

"Nah, it's not impossible. I personally think that we should keep the short effect until we've tested it on more people," said Fred.

"Why would we want to test it? We've already got me and Hermione."

"Well, I just wanna see if it wears out on everyone. Chill out, will you?"

"OK, but you know that after a while word's going to spread about us and people won't take it from us."

"Well, maybe we could get them to control their feelings. Like, give it to them and make it so they only fall in love with people they know."

"That could work, but we're having enough difficulties trying to make the effects last as it is."

Fred shook George. "It doesn't matter! We could make craploads of money with this stuff, whether the effects last or not! Word may travel, but people will still want more! We did, and we kissed Hermione, remember?"

A very sheepish grin formed across George's face.

"What?" said Fred. "What is it?"

AI have an idea," said George.

"Harry, do you really think we suck?" asked Ron nervously.

"I don't know, I just think that Hermione thinks they're good and everyone should get lessons from them."

"Well, why don't we test each other?"

"What did you just say?"

"Why don't we kiss each other to see if we need lessons or not?"

"Ron, I'm going to be kissing enough guys as it is, I don't need you as one of them."

"Oh shut up," said Ron. He grabbed Harry and started kissing him. "Well?" he asked when he was done.

Harry stared, still no believing Ron just kissed him.

"You do suck."

"So do you!"

"Lessons?"

"Yeah."

"Ron?"

"What?"

"Let's never do that again."

"Deal."


	2. Kissing Lessons

_**CHAPTER TWO: Kissing Lessons**_

"YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?" shouted Fred.

"Take your jelly beans and get kissing lessons from you," said Ron.

"Ron, you're my little brother. And Harry, you're his best friend. Why the hell do you want kissing lessons from me?"

"Not just you," said Harry. "George as well."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" asked George. "Bring me into this. Honestly, you call yourselves straight wizards."

"It wasn't our idea," said Ron.

"Sure," said Fred. "Whose was it? Dumbledore's?"

"Snogged him in a closet and didn't do so good?" asked George.

"No you idiot!" said Harry. "It was Hermione's idea."

"I see how it is," said Fred. "She snogged us, then snogged you, then told you to snog us. That girl has very strange priorities. She should work them out."

"Yeah," said Ron. "She told _us_ to go to St. Mungo's."

"Well, you still followed through with it," said George. "You still have to go to St. Mungo's. She should just join you, except go to the 'Far Too Insane Brainy Witch' section."

Ron laughed. "That works, I guess."

"So are you guys going to help?" asked Harry.

"The art to fine snogging is to not pressure the chick," said Fred.

"Right," said Ron, "and that's why you gave her a bean that would make her snog you, right? That's not pressure."

"Shut up and listen. We're the experts, remember?"

"Before we continue," said Harry, "I would like to know how much snogging is going to take place, that way I know how many anti-sanitizing potions I need to make."

George puckered his lips. "What? You don't wanna kiss me?"

"George, I think you need to join us all in St. Mungo's."

"That place is going to get very popular by the end of the year," said Fred. "They're going to have a special section for Hogwarts people."

"Hogwarts _snoggers_, mind you," said Ron. "Only the people who randomly snog need to get sent there. Duh, my friend."

"I'm not your friend, I'm your brother. And apparently I'm going to be your snogger as well."

"I hate how you say it. Can't you turn yourself into a girl or something so it would be easier?"

"I'd still be your sibling, oh intelligent one, so just shut up already. Back to the fine art of snogging. You really just have to give it your all. Maybe you should practice with your hands."

"Hands should be used for other practices, Fred," said George.

"That's only the right one," said Fred. "The left one's still open."

"You could do a two-in-one practice section, then."

"You two have issues," said Harry.

"Hey, we didn't come to you and want to snog. You came to us."

"Hermione forced us to," said Ron. "We don't want to do this just as much as you don't want to do this, so you two should shut up."

"Well, OK, I have an idea," said George. "Why don't you bring us Hermione so you can practice on her? I'm sorry, but the thought of snogging my brother is just barbaric."

"That's not what you said last night," said Fred.

"I was under the spell!"

"Hey, I'm just glad it wore off after -- wait, I just figured it out! The effect wears off right after you snog someone!"

"What about me snogging Hermione?"

"You snogged her, she just kind of took it. So that's the effect we need to work on. It just takes a couple of minutes after you snog! Harry, Ron, you two are geniuses."

"Um, thanks," said Harry. "I forgot we were the brains of the operation."

"No, you nitwit! You're just inspiration. You two should get the Nobel Prize for stupidity."

"The Nobel Prize is for Literature, oh smart one," said Ron. "Stupidity doesn't classify."

"It does if you write a book on it," said George. "You two could do that easily."

"And you two could write a book on snogging...each other."

"Hey, shut your mouth! Nothing happened!"

"OK," said Fred. "This fight is over. Snog lesson for today has officially ended."

"It never started," said Harry.

"Bring us Hermione, and then the fun...and snogging...will begin."

Voldemort entered Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place.

"Kreacher," he said. "Where are you?"

"I is here, master," said Kreacher.

"Good. I have a plan, and I need you to stay here on guard in case anyone comes."

Kreacher bowed. "What is the will of the master is the will of Kreacher."

Voldemort kicked creature. "Get up, you scum!"

Kreacher screeched and got up.

"I don't need a filthy little worm hanging on my feet all day!" Voldemort walked up the stairs. "Now...where is that picture?"

Kreacher got up, whimpering. "Wh-what is it that you need, my Lord? My Master?" He walked over to Voldemort and bowed again, but quickly got up, remembering how Voldemort didn't like to be flaunted.

"I'm looking for dear old Mrs. Black. She and I haven't talked for ages, and I'm sure there are a great many things she and I need to catch up on."

The covering to Mrs. Black's picture unveiled and her picture appeared, her looking somewhat anxious.

"Voldemort!" she said, sounding pleased. "It's so good to see you again, my love!"

"Now, now," said Voldemort. "We have been passed that stage, and you know that. Anyway, I hear there have been a few things happening in this household that I need to know about. I heard about Dumbledore and some followers, but I didn't hear much. Care to clue me in?"

"Well, my son was a filthy little cheat, he was! He held his meetings here! In my own house! How dare he! Now, now, let me finish before you interrupt," she added, seeing that Voldemort was about to talk. "Anyway. He dared to bring the likes of Nymphadora Tonks, Albus Dumbledore, the Weasleys, and...I'm sorry to say it, sir...Harry Potter! They had some sort of secret meetings down there in the kitchens, and they wouldn't let the children enter! I'm not sure how many people are involved, but I know for a fact that Severus Snape is one of them, he is. They're having meetings that, from the information I've gathered, are going to get them strong enough to stand up to you, Voldy! It's terrible! Oh, it's so terrible!"

And with that, she started bursting into tears.

"I'm not finished," she said, seeing that he wished to speak again. "I know that Harry Potter nearly got expelled from school, but I think you're all up-to-date on that. And I'm sure you know that my backstabbing son is dead! Well, good riddance to him! I don't want you to die, Voldy! I just want you to live!"

"Are you finished now?" asked Voldemort. "Because I would like to speak. I have a plan. I figured since there is an order, there will be people who are trusted and people who are not trusted. I have enough power to begin possessing people again, and that's what I intend to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I intend to possess some of the most trusted teachers and students, and I feel that this will be the most effective way to get people to join me."

"Why, what an excellent idea!"

"I know. Now. If I can talk through people, I can convince people to join me. You know it as well as I do; I'm good at convincing."

"That's always been one of your finer points."

"Go back to your rest. I'm going to take a look around the house to see if there will be anything I need. If someone enters, scream so I will know it's my time to depart."

"As you wish."

And with that, she closed her curtain and maintained her rest.

Voldemort walked back down the hall and entered the kitchen. He picked up various things that Sirius had used, and saw some Floo Powder.

"Ah," said Voldemort. "This could be my travelling device to get into Hogwarts."

He put the Floo Powder back down and heard someone at the door. He disappeared, but remained in the room, just invisible to the naked eye.

Mundungus Fletcher entered the kitchen, looking around.

"Hello?" he asked nervously. "Hm...I could've sworn that I heard voices from outside...maybe I'm just hearing things. After all, this is a hidden house."

The shrieks of Mrs. Black came loud and clear as he left the kitchen.

"_Stupid wretch! How dare you enter my house without my permission! What's wrong with you! This is a sacred house, and I don't want the likes of you hanging around it! AAAH! Leave here! Be gone, I tell you! Be gone!_

"Ah, shut up!" said Dung. "I've had enough of the likes of you!"

After messing around with the curtain for a while, Mundungus finally got it closed and embraced the silence.

"Ah, that's better."

He turned and ran into something, but couldn't find what he ran into.

"Wh-who's there?" he asked nervously. "Better yet, what's there? Show yourself!" He held up his hands, curled up in fists. "I'm not afraid of you!"

A body materialized out of thin air. Mundungus screamed.

"You should be," said the body. Part of the body came out of him, green, and entered into Mundungus. "There we go," said Voldemort as Mundungus. "This could be easier than I thought."

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Ron, have you ever told you brothers that they have serious issues that they need to work out?" she asked Harry and Ron after they told her of Fred and George's proposal.

"Many times," said Ron. "And I'm quite sure that you've told them a time or two yourself, haven't you?"

"Of course I have! Look at what they want me to do! They want me to help you in your snogging lessons? No way. I'm sorry."

"But Hermione!" said Harry. "Think of all the love you could make!"

Hermione slapped Harry. "You and Ron should be the snogging partners! You seem to think alike, why can't you snog alike?"

"That makes no sense," said Ron. "And besides, Harry isn't very good at snogging."

"Neither are you!" said Harry. "You absolutely suck!"

"Wait," said Hermione. "Just wait a couple of seconds. Are you two telling me that you...you..._tried_ to snog each other?"

"Well," said Harry, pausing. "Well...yeah."

Hermione burst out in a fit of laughter.

"That has to be one of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life! You two? Snog each other?" She snorted. "This is such a perfect Christmas present, and that's months away!"

"Hermione, shut up," said Ron. "You snogged both of us and Fred and George, so you're one to talk, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, I did, but at least they were of the opposite gender." She snorted again. "This is too perfect."

"Hermione, _shut up_!" said Harry, getting irritated. "It was all your fault anyway. We just kissed each other since you told us we sucked. If it weren't for you in the first place we wouldn't have had to worry about it. So blame only yourself, because I don't know about Ron, but I'm getting irritated with you.

"OK, OK, you're right," said Hermione. "I'm being stupid, I admit it. But still, you have to admit, that is pretty priceless."

"It is," said Ron. "But shut up about it already."

"Well, if you don't bring us Hermione, I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do for you," said George. "I'm not snogging you or Harry, so you two are just going to have to suck for the rest of your pathetic little lives."

"Now, what just a minute!" said Ron. "If you take the bean you won't even care! Come _on_! I'm desperate!"

"I have an idea," said Fred. "This could be really good. We could somehow get Hermione and someone else together, give them a bean without them knowing what it was, and get them together. When you get into it, you get into it, what can I say? Then, as Hermione's snogging whoever she's snogging, we can show you the finer points of it. Is that OK with you guys?"

"Works for me," said Harry.

"Me, too," said Ron. "But who are we going to get?"

"Well, it's going to have to be someone from the opposite gender," said Fred, "because I'm not watching her snog a girl."

"Well, wait a minute," said Harry. "How are we going to hide from them?"

"What do you mean?" asked George.

"Well, they'd kind of notice if we were there, wouldn't they?"

"We'll hide in a closet or something," said Fred. "Think of who you're talking to, Harry. We know everything about this place."

Ron smiled. "This is true."

"So," said Harry. "Who are we going to get?"

"I know," said Ron. "Someone that even she would despise snogging...just to make sure the bean really works."

"Who?"

"Draco."

Potions that day was very interesting to say the least. As Snape entered, he glared at Ron and Harry like he'd never glared at them before. He kept covering looking down to see if he was covered, especially in the lower area.

"What are you worrying about, Snape?" Ron asked so only he, Harry, and Snape could hear. "It's not like you've got anything to show anybody."

"That'll be five po-- "

"Uh, uh, uh!" said Harry. "You wouldn't want us putting the potion on you in front of your class, now would you? Wouldn't want everyone to know how small you are."

Snape looked furious. "Fine. Just leave me alone, Potter."

Harry and Ron smiled to themselves.

"That was just too priceless," said Ron.

"You're telling me," said Harry. "I always love to see the look on his face when it comes to him naked. He knows we're right."

"That's what makes it so funny," said Ron. "This is too great."

"Will you two shut up?" asked Hermione. "Get over it, already! You've got something against him, but keep it to yourselves until you can use it for blackmail; you wouldn't want someone to hear you, would you?"

"Good point," said Harry.

"Yeah, we especially wouldn't want Draco to hear us, would we?" said Ron.

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hermione.

Harry and Ron smiled.

"Nothing, Hermione. You'll never know," said Harry.

"Yes she will," Ron whispered so only Harry could hear him.

"Well, I know that, but we can't let her know that or else everything would be over," whispered Harry. "We can't ruin this, Ron."

"What are you two whispering about?" asked Hermione.

"_Nothing_, Hermione! Would you keep your nose in your own business?" snapped Ron.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You need anger management, Ron. That and stupidity management as well, because you never keep your mouth shut."

Harry laughed.

"You're one to talk, Hermione."

She glared at him, and Snape began talking.

"All right, everyone. I've written the ingredients to your potion on the board. If you do something wrong I will remove points from your house or use you as a 'stupid example'," he said "stupid example" actually using his fingers for quotes, "and you will be embarrassed in front of your classmates. For some of you," he looked at Neville, "that isn't too hard to do. Now. Get to work. I will be in my office, I will check on you in a few minutes. _Don't_ interrupt me."

On that note, Snape turned around and went into his office, leaving the class to do their work. Sounds of people putting their parchment away (the note-takers) and pulling their cauldrons out swept across the room.

"You know," said Neville, "I'm really trying hard to keep my mouth shut. I'm trying to be courteous enough to not make a fool out of him in front of everybody."

Harry smiled. "Well, he doesn't know that you know, so I would keep that to yourself if I were you."

"No, Neville!" said Hermione, grabbing his hand as he was about to add an ingredient to his potion. "You put that in _after_ you put the snake's eye in." She rolled her eyes. "You could've just blown up the whole class. That would've been a good example."

"Thanks, Hermione," said Neville, turning red. "Wouldn't want to die from something Small Penis gave us."

Harry and Ron laughed, and they both could've sworn they even heard Hermione give off a little giggle.

"Just finish your potion," said Hermione.

Voldemort/Mundungus stepped out of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, and started walking down the street.

"I have to get used to these petty Muggles," he muttered to himself. "They can't use brooms or anything magic." He sighed. "They always make things so difficult."

He found an alley and went behind it so he could Apparate back to his old house. When he re-entered his house, he called for Wormtail.

"Wormtail!" he shouted. "Get over here!"

Wormtail entered, saw the face of Mundungus, and screamed, dropping the plate he was carrying. The plate shattered, but Wormtail didn't seem to care.

"Get out of here," he said. "Get out! This isn't your house!"

Voldemort rolled his eyes. "It's me, you fool! Voldemort! My possession plan seems to work a lot better than I thought."

"Voldemort? I'm so sorry, Master! I did not know."

"Be happy I feel forgiving. Now. Did you make the potion I instructed you to make?"

"Y-Yes, sir."

"Good. You are becoming a much better assistant."

"Th-thank you, My Liege."

Voldemort went into the kitchen and sat down. "I feel very weak in this body," he said. "The possession may not last long unless I can convince the people to let me stay in control. If they don't want to die, they won't resist me. But this man...he's very foolish."

Wormtail sat beside him. "Well, why don't you get out of that body?"

"Because I left my other body at Grimmauld Place, and I don't want to go get it. I've hidden it, and you'd have to know the curse to find it." Voldemort breathed. "This man is very foolish!" He slapped his hand on the table. "He'd better hope I don't kill him as soon as I get out of him."

"I hope you don't sir."

"Are you defying me?"

"No, sir! Why would I do something like that? Even _I_ am not that foolish."

"Good, because I am in no mood for stupidity."

"You never are, My Liege, and with good reason."

"Fetch me that potion," said Voldemort, using his hand to point upstairs. "We have some work to do."

"OK," said Fred, "this has to work."

They had put about 20 of the love beans in a box and jinxed it to look like a Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans box.

"This'll be priceless," said Ron.

"I've put a spell on both of them to come here," said George. "They'll both just drop what they're doing and come, thinking they forgot something. Now, let's go get in the broom cupboard."

They hid in the broom cupboard; they were in the hall by the Defense Against the Dark Arts room. Soon after they hid, Hermione appeared, looking around.

"Oh, Bertie Bott's!" she said. As she picked up the box, Draco came down, wearing -- "What are you wearing?" asked Hermione incredulously.

"Oh," said Draco, looking down. He was wearing skin-tight leather pants and leather suspenders with no shirt on. "I forgot I was wearing this."

Hermione looked down. "Draco! Where did you get that -- that -- _thing_?"

Ron, George, Fred, and Harry all looked down as well and gasped.

"Oh," said Draco again, smiling. "You like?"

Hermione blushed. "Maybe."

"You have Bertie Bott's?" asked Draco. "You gonna share?"

"Well, I --"

Without letting her finish, he took about 3 Bertie Bott's Beans. She took about the same amount. They looked at each other, then ate them together. An awkward silence fell.

"Hermione," said Draco in a sing-songy voice.

"Draco," said Hermione in the same voice, grabbing about the middle of Draco.

Draco smiled. "You like the feel of that?"

"Yeah," said Hermione. "Big, yet so soft."

Draco closed in and started kissing Hermione. Harry, Ron, Fred, and George looked in disgust.

"I can't believe she just grabbed his -- his -- yuck!" said Ron.

"I guess this works better than we thought," said Fred.

As they progressed, Fred and George remained silent, figuring that Harry and Ron were just as disgusted by this as they were. However, when Draco started to lift up Hermione's shirt, they popped out of the closet.

"OK!" said Fred, startling Hermione and Draco. "Show's over! Draco, put that thing down!" he said, looking down and noticing that Draco had gotten just a bit bigger.

"What are you doing here?" said Hermione, blushing. "Do you want to join us?"

"OK, you guys just took three love beans, you're more in love than you've ever been before! The effects should be wearing off soon --"

"I don't want them to wear off until I've had a piece of you," said Draco, walking up to Fred and rubbing his shoulders.

"Get off of me, Malfoy."

Harry and Ron stepped out, and when Hermione saw them, she went over, but Draco beat her to them.

"Well, well," he said. "If it isn't the hottest people in school. Want a piece of me -- wait a minute! What am I doing? This is disgusting!" He looked at Hermione. "Never get anywhere near me again, you freak!" He looked down at his leather clothes, noticing that he'd gotten bigger just as Fred had noticed. "Nobody knows about this," said Draco, "or there'll be hell to pay!" As soon as he finished saying "pay" he turned and ran down the hall.

"That was messed up," said Hermione, slapping Fred. "I grabbed his penis and you guys think it's funny!"

"Oh, we didn't think it was funny," said George, emerging from the closet. "We actually found the show quite disgusting and you should be disappointed, Hermione."

"Well, it isn't my fault you made all of those beans," said Hermione coolly. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to bed before I have to grab any other abnormally large objects. Good night."

She walked down the hall and was soon out of sight.

"What kind of advice to you have to give after that little performance?" asked Harry, looking at Fred as though he were stupid.

"Don't take three love jelly beans," said Fred. "After that, take just one and practice with a chick; maybe if you feel love you'll be better. I'm going to bed. Good night."

He left and walked down the all and was soon out of sight as well.

"That was very -- erm -- _interesting_," said George. "I hope I never see Draco wearing something like that again, I hope Hermione never grabs something like that again in front of me, and I hope I never walk in on them when they're engaging in sexual content. Good night."

He followed Fred and was also soon out of sight.

"I'm going to have nightmares," said Ron. "That was disgusting."

"That was stuffing, that was," said Harry. "Draco is not that big naturally, that's for sure."

"That's not what I was talking about; I really could careless."

"I know, but thinking about it, he cheated. He stuffed. That's why it was soft. If he enjoyed it that much it wouldn't have been soft."

"Harry, this conversation is over."

"I know, it disgusts me, too."

The next day Hermione wouldn't talk to anyone except for Ginny. When Ron and Harry tried to talk to her, she just pretended they didn't exist and continued whatever conversation she was having with Ginny.

"She shouldn't be mad at us," said Ron. "It's not are fault she snogged Malfoy."

"Well, she didn't do it willingly, and we watched, so she does kind of have a reason. Don't worry, she'll get over it," said Harry.

"Well, it was all Fred and George's fault! She shouldn't get mad at us. And besides, she's the one who wanted us to get lessons, so she should stop fretting about it already!"

"Ron, chill out, will you? You know as well as I do by the end of the week, Hermione'll be running back to us with the latest gossip."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right. After knowing her all this time, you should know that by now, too. Come on, Ron. Just breathe."

"Done."

"Good."

"So, how long do you think it'll take before Hermione comes around?"

"It might take a while...I don't know, but if you two watched me grab Draco's penis then snog him in the halls, I wouldn't be too happy with you either."

Ron laughed. "If you grabbed Draco's penis and snogged him in the halls, people would get bad ideas about the two of you and your sexuality, so that would be your problem, not mine."

Harry hit him. "I would never grab Draco's fake penis willingly! Not even if my life depended on it, so I don't think we have to worry."

"Too right, we don't. But Fred and George still never gave us kissing lessons."

"I have an idea."

"Oh, great. These days, when people say that, it always ends in disaster."

"_Istarna, pregoniit, ilomino!_" Mundungus' voice boomed through the room.

"I've never heard that spell before, Master," said Wormtail. "Did you come up with it?"

"Yes. All by myself. Just a second."

A couple of seconds later, the spirit of Voldemort left Mundungus' body and turned to face him.

"Mundungus Fletcher," said Voldemort calmly as Mundungus gasped at the sight of Voldemort. "You should really stop defying me, especially if you like your life."

"W-what are you talking about?" asked a shaky Mundungus.

"If you let me stay inside of you, you will keep your life. You will not, however, ruin my plan. Do you understand?"

"Y-Yes."

Voldemort re-entered Mundungus.

"Good. Now you get to keep your life."


	3. The Mirror's Reflection

_**CHAPTER THREE: The Mirror's Reflection**_

Seeing Hermione again made Draco's heart lift, especially after their previous engagement in the halls. He had felt that Hermione had truly, dearly liked him, and knew that he would stop at nothing to get her back. He didn't care the she only snogged him because she was under the influence of a petty bean. She had grabbed him in "the place"! That had to mean something. He hunted down Fred and George so he could get some more inside details on the bean.

"We're still working on it," said Fred. Draco had luckily enough passed them in the dungeons, since that was where they worked, and he stayed in the dungeons anyway. "We'll let you know when we're finished."

"I don't care if it isn't finished," said Draco. "What does it mean? What does it do?"

"OK, apparently Hermione has some sort of attraction to you, because that bean was never made so she could touch what you should keep hidden. So why worry about it? Hunt down Hermione and snog her again under your own will!"

"That could work," said Draco, and he turned to leave the dungeons so he could find Hermione and do as Fred had instructed.

"Good luck!" came the voice of George as the door shut behind him.

"He's a moron!" said Fred. "She'd never snog him."

"Nice lie," said George. "Always wondered how to get him out of our hair...now I know that you either have to say 'snog' or 'Hermione' and he's gone like Puff the Magic Dragon."

Fred laughed. "Puff the Magic Dragon?"

"Yeah, I read about it in some Muggle book. Very weird these days, Muggles are. So many problems. Puff the Magic Dragon?" he sniggered to himself.

"OK, so, I think I've figured out how to make it last," said Fred. "Of course, we won't know until we try it on someone. Why don't we get Malfoy over there and show him Harry? That should be good. But I've designed it so that if you take one, you will fall in love with only one person, and you will be able to control the feelings eventually, but you'll still love them. However, if you take two then it's going to be like 'Draco Gone Wild' and there will be snogging on every corner."

George laughed. "We could get the teachers involved in this...that should be a sight! I could see Dumbledore with McGonagall...they'd actually make a cute couple. I'd pay good money to see Snape hit on Dumbledore as well."

Fred shuddered. "I think teachers need to be left out of this. At least until we can narrow it down to the genders."

"OK, OK, but we should make one for Dumbledore and McGonagall that makes it so you only fall in love with one person...I honestly think that they'd make a good couple."

"I don't know. Seems to me he'd be too old to give her anything to talk about. But from what I've heard from Ron, Dumbledore would have more to show for it than Snape would."

Draco headed up the halls to the Gryffindor common room. As he approached, the Fat Lady looked at him in disgust and asked sharply, "Password?"

Draco thought for a moment. "Um. The password is..um..."

Before he could give a password, the door opened and Hermione walked out. When she saw Draco she froze and just stood there. He did the same thing. They stood in a moment of awkward silence.

"Well?" came to voice of the Fat Lady (the portrait was still open). "Are you two going to say something or just stand there gawking at each other all day?"

"Oh," said Hermione. "Hi, Draco." She shut the portrait and they started walking down the hall, hearing a mutter of "Kids" from the Fat Lady.

"Hermione, I think we need to have a little bit of a chat," said Draco.

"I was just going to come to you for the exact same reason. Last night was --"

"Marvelous," he interrupted.

"Well, yes, but -- Draco, we were under a spell. There was nothing special in it. Nothing at all. I'm sorry."

"So you mean that you didn't feel any passion at all?"

"No. I'm sorry."

"That's OK, I guess. But you grabbed my penis! I thought for sure that meant something to you!"

Hermione smiled. "Oh, that did, believe me."

"Well, then what's wrong?"

"Draco, let's not discuss this right now. Write me an owl or something, and I'll get back to you. I'm really sorry if you got your hopes up."

"But, Hermione, I --"

She turned and looked him straight in the face. It was the first time she'd ever looking into his cold, gray eyes and noticed that there was love behind them as well as hatred.

"I-I just thought you should know that --"

With out finishing, he leaned in and gave her a long, passionate, romantic kiss. When he pulled away, she looked at him and laughed.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"You should think about taking kissing lessons with Ron and Harry. No offense, but you suck. What's wrong with men these days?"

She turned and walked away, heading what looked to be the direction of the library. Draco stood there, stunned, and then eventually went back to his own House.

_Dear Harry,_

_Don't bother telling your friends about this, because if you do, I can guarantee they'll all die within a week. I have a plan and you will not mess it up, do you hear me, boy? I've come through sixteen years of pain to get this far. Do you understand?_

_I'm sure you're wondering just why I'm writing you this letter. Well, there is a perfectly good explanation. I've given you some of my powers, Harry Potter. When I tried to kill you and failed, I gave you half of me. I'm sure you already know all about this. After all, you're under the care of Albus Dumbledore, the old prick._ _Anyway. I know the things you can do, Harry. I know that I can control you through your dreams, make you do things even the great Harry Potter wouldn't think he were capable of doing._

_I'm pre-warning_ _you of what I'm going to do, Harry. I'm going to kill everyone in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and you will not stop me. Do you understand?_

_And if you dare even show this letter to anybody, I will have you kidnaped before you can say "_Avada Kadavra," _do you understand? Well, I would sure hope so._

_I'm watching you, Harry. I'm going to be controlling you through your dreams until I can come inside of you and control you permanently. Don't fight it._

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

_I AM LORD VOLDEMORT_

Voldemort re-read the letter and folded it up, then gave it to Wormtail.

"Be sure he gets this," he said.

"Y-Yes, yes, of course," said Wormtail, putting the letter in his pocket. "I'll go to town tomorrow and have it delivered to him. Do you think he'll really keep this under wraps?"

"I'll begin to control him tonight, so he'll have no choice but to keep it to himself. I'm going to conjure up a fake human and torture it and make him think that's what I'll do to all of his friends if he tells. This plan is going much better than I ever would've hoped."

Wormtail smiled. "That's good. I'm always so upset when Harry Potter gets the win, and you have to re-think your plots."

"Don't worry," said Voldemort. "Everything will change by the end of the year."

He got up and walked over to Mundungus Fletcher.

"You've been a great host, Mundungus," he said. "For once in my life, I feel like being nice. I'm going to let you live, but you're going to have to stay here. Don't even think about trying to run away or contact anyone in the outside world or I'll kill you."

Mundungus shivered in fear. "P-Please. D-Don't h-hurt m-m-m-me. I s-swear I-I'll do wh-what you want m-m-m-me t-t-t-to."

Voldemort smiled. "I told you he'd come around to me, Wormtail." Voldemort leaned in until he was about an inch from Mundungus' face. "It's all right. There's no need to be afraid. I have a feeling you're going to be a lot of use for me, Mr. Fletcher."

He got up and left the room, leaving Mundungus scared and quivering in the attic. Voldemort locked to door to ensure that Mundungus stayed there, and he left to do his nightly bidding with Harry Potter.

Hermione entered the Common Room in a fit of giggles. Harry and Ron were the only ones left, for it was late and everyone else had gone to bed. When she saw them, she only laughed harder, and couldn't stop laughing. She laughed so hard she fell over, and Harry and Ron could only goggle at her and wonder what the heck was so funny.

"You'll - never - believe - what - just - happened!" she said through all of her giggles.

"Oh, nice to see you're talking to us again," said Ron.

"What? Oh, yeah," said Hermione, embarrassed. "I've gotten over that. No fears anymore, so just chill and be happy."

"What's so funny?" asked Harry.

Hermione burst into laughter again.

"Did you have a laughing spell put on you?" asked Ron.

"No!" said Hermione, laughing.

"_Silencio_!" shouted Harry as he pulled out his wand. Hermione's laughter ceased immediately, and she looked calm.

"Anyway," she said. "Draco came by, and he actually thought I'd meant something by last night, just because I'd grabbed his penis!"

Harry and Ron stared at her for a moment, then burst out into laughter.

"That's too funny," said Harry.

"Yeah, I know. I feel bad for him, though. You really should've seen him when I told him I didn't feel anything. He looked hurt. But it was still far too priceless to go on worrying about it too much. Anyway, I'm going to go to bed, and I'll see you two bright and early tomorrow morning."

She left, and Harry and Ron stared at her.

"I'm not sure what's weirder," said Ron, "her getting over it so fast, or him believing that there was some sort of spark between them."

Harry's dreams were cold and bitter that night. As soon as he put his head on the pillow, he started dreaming of something very strange...

_Voldemort stood in the middle of a room, cloaked and hooded, dripping in blood. He said some sort of spell Harry couldn't recognize._

_A person came into the room, looking frightened/_

_"Y-Yes?" he said. "I heard voices calling me and so I came. Who are you?"_

_Voldemort looked at him. His eyes turned red._

_"You have the courage and nerve to dare ask me my name?" he said. "That was a very foolish thing to do, for it is never wise to attempt to mock Lord Voldemort._

_"Lord Voldemort? I've never heard of you!"_

_"That's because you are stupid, and for this you should be beaten with a stick! But that is not my affair. You see, there is something I want from you."_

_"What?"_

_"Your soul."_

_Voldemort pulled out his wand._

_"_Accio, soul!" _The soul of the person ripped out of his body, leaving the person there to die. "Well, well," said Voldemort. "That was far too easy." He put the soul back in the body._

_"H-How did you do that?"_

_"Do you dare question me again?"_

_The person kneeled before Lord Voldemort._

_"No, never."_

_"Good. You're a quick learner."_

_Voldemort held up his wand and muttered something again, and the man started twitching. _

_"Jump," said Voldemort, and the man flew in the air and hit the ceiling. "Kneel." The man kneeled so hard he put a whole in the floor. "Die," said Voldemort, and the man went over to the fireplace, picked up a burning log, and stuck his face into it, screaming as his skin burned away from him. After burning for a couple of seconds, the man just fell. He lay there, and Voldemort knew he was dead. "This is what will happen if anyone dares defy me," he said, and it sounded as if he were talking to Harry. "That's right, Harry. I am talking to you. I sent you a letter, and if you dare show it to anyone or tell anyone of it's contents, this man will be your friends." Voldemort's red eyes turned to slits. "I'm always watching you."_

Harry woke with a start as Ron was shaking him.

"Harry! Harry! Wake up, mate! What's the matter? You're screaming bloody murder!"

"N-Nothing," said Harry, remembering Voldemort's words. "Guess I just had a nightmare that Hermione snogged Draco, and they went a little further than snogging."

Ron shuddered. "I'd scream, too. Was it in detail?"

Harry swallowed. "Unfortunately."

Ron shuddered again. "Sorry, mate. That must be terrible."

"You haven't the slightest idea."

Draco looked particularly annoyed the next day, and only he, Harry, Hermione, and Ron knew why. Draco was particularly annoyed with Fred and George because, after all, he had just been following their advice. Had their advice been accurate, however. He wouldn't have had to worry about it.

"Oh, would you look at him?" said Hermione. "He seems so upset. Maybe I should go talk to him."

"Bad idea," said Ron. "You just broke the guys heart, and he looks pissed, so I wouldn't dare go within ten feet of him if I were you."

"Oh, you're probably right. It's just, he looks so -- _depressed_! And the fact that I told him he should take kissing lessons with you two."

"YOU DID WHAT!" screamed Harry.

"Shh!" said Hermione. "Not so loud! You don't want too attract too much attention." She said that a little bit late because everyone at the Gryffindor table was looking at them. "Mind your business," Hermione snapped. They all looked back at their plates and continued their conversations. "Anyway," she continued. "You guys should be the ones to go talk to him. I would pay good money to see you three snogging each other in a hallway while he's wearing nothing but tight leather pants and suspenders with no shirt and letting it all hang out."

"Were you paying that close of attention?" asked Ron.

"Yes, I was. And besides, you don't think anything of it when you've got the bean. You just get attracted to people. When the effect wears off, however, you feel just a tad bit foolish."

"I would, too if I grabbed Draco's testicles," said Harry.

"Yeah. He should give Snape some lessons for that area."

"Even though we decided Draco's was fake."

"True."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Boys. Can't live with them, can't live without them. When will you two ever grow up?"

"When we get over the fact that you snogged Draco," said Harry.

"And when will that be?"

They thought a moment.

"Hmm...never!" said Ron.

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "You're an immature selfish pig, Ronald Weasley."

"Shut up, Hermione," said Ron. "I'm only joking."

"Did you just tell me to shut up? You bastard! I hate you!"

"Well, I hate you too, bitch!"

"Enough!" said Harry. "Ron, Hermione, please just stop fighting. Hard to believe this started with Draco having a fake penis."

"It isn't fake!" said Hermione. "I felt it, it was very real."

"Then why did you say it was soft?"

"Maybe you should try feeling it one day, that way you'll know what I'm talking about. Or maybe you could get lucky enough to get him to take his pants off and show you that ass as well --"

"HERMIONE!" said Ron incredulously. "Are you hitting on Draco?"

"It isn't my fault that's it beautiful! And not to mention there for the taking! Gosh, he's so perfect! Maybe I should go over there and tell him that if he wants, it's on. I think I do love him."

Harry rolled his eyes. "And you think _we're _confusing."

_Bang!_

"Did it work?" asked Fred.

"I don't know," said George. "I haven't tested it yet, you dinglebat!"

"Now, there's no use getting all angry over it," said Fred. "We need to start small with these things, you have to remember. Christmas is coming up, and we could sell these as Bertie Bott's."

"True, true. Hey, I wonder how poor ol' Draco's doing with Hermione?"

The door slammed open and Draco barged in, looking angry.

"By the looks of it," said Fred, looking from Draco to George, "not so well."

"See you've lost the leather pants," said George. "Good idea."

"Shut it, Weasley!" said Draco. "I tried to go after Hermione."

"And?"

"And? Are you a stupid redhead? Look at me! I'm pissed off! How do you think it went, you stupid-ass, should-be-castrated Weasley?"

"Now, now," said Fred. "No need for anger."

"Anger? This isn't me angry. I'll have you two for this, you can guarantee that!"

He left the room without a further word.

"I think that went rather well," said George, "considering the circumstances."

Fred laughed. "The little git. Should-be-castrated? He may be big, but he better be happy I don't take _my_ pants off, or he'll feel castrated."

"Stupid Weasleys," muttered Draco as he went down the hall. "Never again will I trust one of those stupid redheads. They'll pay for that! I can guarantee it!"

He found Ginny leaving the Great Hall and approached her, looking sad.

"What is it, Draco?" she asked. "Not that I care. Your pain brings me pleasure."

Draco fought the urge to say something really mean to her. "Oh, Ginny!" he said, pretending to cry. "It's so terrible!"

"What?"

"Your brothers! They just tried to get into my pants."

"ALL SIX OF THEM!"

"No! Just Fred and George."

She shook her head. "When am I going to learn that it's only those two?"

"Ginny! What am I to do? I'm not gay!"

"Neither are they, believe me."

"But they just tried to get into my pants!"

"Draco! Wake up! You're in a fantasy world! Get out of it! My family hates you, just as your family hates mine! Shut up already! Goodness, you're like a little girl!"

She left him and ran up the stairs, heading toward the Gryffindor tower.

"Another person to add to my list of revenge, I see," said Draco as she left. "Hope she doesn't tell anybody about that."

Ginny entered the Gryffindor Common Room and saw Hermione.

"Hermione, Draco's psycho," she said.

"Did you just figure that out or did you get hit in the face with a 'No-Duh' spell?" said Hermione.

"No, I've known for a while."

"What did he do this time?"

"He came up to me an told me that Fred and George tried to get into his pants."

Hermione snorted. "That preposterous! They'd never do that!"

"I know. I told him to get out of his fantasy world."

Hermione laughed. "Good idea. Wouldn't want him getting big-headed, would we?"

"Too late."

The girls broke out in a fit of laughter and Harry and Ron entered.

"What's so funny?" asked Ron.

"You'll never know," said Hermione.

Draco thought of how he could get Fred and George expelled. There had to be some sort of way to do it...

"I've got it!" he said. "I'll tell Dumbledore that they're making secret love potions down in the dungeons! Love potions are illegal..."

He left the Slytherin Common Room and went to go find Fred and George's section of the dungeons. He entered, looking pleased.

"You guys will pay for lying to me," he said.

"Oh yeah?" said George. "And how to you propose to go about that?"

"I'm going to turn you in."

"You're going to do what?" said Fred.

"I'm going to tell Dumbledore all about this! Love potions are illegal! Your messing with people's emotions and you'll pay for it!"

"Malfoy, you git!" said George. "You'll do no such thing!"

"Watch me!"

Draco tried to leave the room, but George stood up and started saying a spell.

"_You will not leave this very room, until you're stuck in a bathroom! One bean live with you, it shall, that's all your food, so eat up now!_"

Nothing happened. Draco looked at him and smirked.

"Trying some new magic? That's stupid. You'll never get me out of here!"

As soon as he finished saying "here", he disappeared, right out of thin air.

"Whoa!" said Fred. "George, where did you learn to do that?"

"It's just something I've been practicing over the years."

"So where is he?"

"He's stuck in the Out-Of-Order bathroom, with one bean. A love bean. He's going to be our tester. See, my ideas do work sometimes."

A strange owl flew up to the window that night, and Harry saw that the letter it held in it's beak was addressed to him. He opened the window and retrieved the letter, reading it so Ron and Hermione couldn't see it.

It was from Voldemort.

Remembering his dream last night, Harry folded up the letter, making sure Hermione and Ron couldn't see it.

"Who was that from, Harry?" asked Hermione.

"Um...it was from Mrs. Weasley. She wants me to keep an eye on Fred and George. She'll be sending you a letter soon, as well, Ron."

On that note, he went up to the dormitory to write two letters.

_Dear Voldemort,_

_I did as you wished. I didn't tell my friends. Would you mind telling me exactly what's going on? I don't have any of your powers, I'm a good wizard, remember?_

_And what was with the dream last night?_

_It's very strange conversing with you._

_Harry_

He folded that up and gave it to the owl, who flew away with it. Then Harry wrote a letter to Mrs. Weasley.

_Dear Mrs. Weasley,_

_I'm having a bit of a problem, and I was hoping that you might be able to help me out._

_I'm sorry that I can't go into detail, but it's a life-or-death situation. I've already told you too much, so to keep things short, would you mind writing Ron a letter and telling him to keep an eye on Fred and George? I promise I will elaborate one day._

_Harry_

He folded that up as well and called Hedwig over.

"Make sure this gets to Mrs. Weasley," he said.

Hedwig hooted and flew out the window. Harry watched her fly away into the night, then went back down the Hermione and Ron.

"Where did you go?" asked Hermione.

"Went to go write Mrs. Weasley back. Told her that everything was fine with Fred and George so far, but I might want to take her advice and keep an eye on them. It's better if she didn't know about the love bean."

"You speak the truth," said Ron. "She'd go absolutely ballistic if she found out about that!"

"She goes ballistic whenever she finds out Fred and George have done anything," said Hermione. "But this, I think, would make her go a little bit off her rocker."

"She's already done that," said Ron. "A long time ago. Once you fall off your rocker, there's no going back. Pity, really, bet she was a nice lady."

Hermione rolled her eyes and hit him again.

Draco looked around the bathroom, petrified.

_How did I get here_? he wondered to himself. _Stupid Weasleys! They're always doing something like this!_

He looked around. It was the old, out-of-order bathroom that was completely empty for refurbishment, except at the moment there was a --

"Jelly bean?" Draco walked over to the door where the jelly bean was. "They banish me, and they send me to a room with a _jelly bean_?"

He picked the jelly bean up.

"Well, there's no harm in eating a simple jelly bean." He put it in his mouth. "Oh, no. It was one of the jelly beans they tested on me and Hermione!"

He looked into the mirror and smiled.

"Hey," he said in a sexy voice to his own reflection. "How are you good-a-lookin'?"

He walked over to the mirror, trying to play it cool, as if his reflection didn't notice he was there. He put his hand up on the wall and casually looked into the mirror as if it weren't himself but another person.

"So, uh, you come here often?"

When his reflection just stared back, he looked away, then looked back.

"I see. You're playing hard-to-get. You don't like me or something? I have too much charm for you to not like me."

His reflection only stared back.

"OK, this isn't cool! I'm a hot man, here! What's wrong with you?"

His reflection only stared.

"I see how it is. You wanna snog to see what I'm like, eh? Well, I'm your man."

He leaned into the mirror and started kissing his reflection.

For the next couple of days, Draco was nowhere to be found. They noticed that he had some absences and went to his House to search for him. When he couldn't be found there, the teachers started asking around.

"Haven't seen him," said Crabbe. "He kind of randomly disappeared, but that's all I know."

"Well," said Snape, "if we can't find him, his parents will need to be informed that he has gone missing."

"Still haven't seen him."

"Fine. Be that way. We'll find him."

"Why don't you just get a Marauder's Map?" asked a voice behind him. He turned and saw Goyle. "Draco always kept one under his bed. I bet if you went and looked for it you could find it."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Goyle," said Snape. "10 points to Slytherin."

He went up into the boys' dormitories and found Draco's bed. He searched through Draco's things and eventually found the Marauder's Map. Having used a Marauder's Map before, Snape remembered how to make everything appear.

He pulled out his wand, put it to the paper, and muttered, "_I solemnly swear that I am up to no good._" The paper flooded with ink, and Snape looked for Draco.

"I've found him," he said as he entered the teachers' lounge.

"Where?" asked McGonagall.

"In the Out-Of-Order boys' bathroom."

"Well, where is he?"

"I haven't retrieved him yet."

"How do you know he's there?"

"His Marauder's Map."

"I always wondered how he always knew where I was..."

"Let's go get him, shall we?"

As they approached the boys' bathroom, they couldn't brace themselves for the sight they would see as they opened the door:

Draco had yanked the mirror off the wall and was now on the floor, trying to unzip the pants of his reflection.

"What kind of spell is this? You're good. That's a turn on!" he said and flung his tongue back onto the mirror. He started rolling around, and Snape noticed that he looked particularly...happy.

"Mr. Malfoy," said McGonagall, shocked. "Just _what_ do you think you are doing?"

Draco put the mirror down and looked at her, then smiled.

"Hey, McGonagall. Nice to see you here, hot-cakes."

McGonagall turned chalk white and looked at Malfoy in horror.

"What did you just say to me?"

"Didn't you hear me?" asked Malfoy, smiling. "Me snogging this person; does it turn you on?"

Her mouth dropped open and she fell back onto the door.

"That's totally preposterous!" she shouted.

"Why, baby? You're totally hot!"

"Get him to the Hospital Wing, immediately!" said McGonagall, leaving and running down the corridor, leaving Draco with Snape.

"Come on, Mr. Malfoy, let's get you to the Hospital Wing."

"Snape," said Draco, standing up. "Do you want to snog?"

Snape looked at him, then leaned in.

"Draco, how many times to I have to tell you that our personal affairs have to stay _private_? Now, get to the Hospital Wing!"

Draco started to leave, but Snape grabbed him.

"Saturday night, library again?" he said.

Draco smiled. "I'll be there if you will, baby."

Snape kissed Draco.

"Now. Be on your way."

Harry and Ron passed by the boys' bathroom right as Snape kissed Draco.

"Did you see that?" said Ron.

"That should make headline news with the _Prophet_."

"This is too perfect! Come on, let's go tell Dumbledore!"

"How did you get a Marauder's Map, anyway?" asked Professor McGonagall as she entered the Hospital Wing cautiously.

"You're talking to a Malfoy," said Draco. "My dad couldn't have Harry showing me up again, could he?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"My dad conjured up a Marauder's Map with Snape's help. Snape used to steal the original one and use it, so my dad made one for me."

McGonagall shook her head. "Whatever, Mr. Malfoy. Get better. And, by the way, if you ever hit on me again, I will personally assassinate you."

Did you like it? Please tell me what you think, I'd life to know…


	4. Charms and Past Lives

_**CHAPTER FOUR: Charms and Past Lives**_

Harry and Ron waited a couple of days before they decided to go visit Draco in the Hospital Wing. They only waited because they were afraid Draco would spring out of the bed and try to rip the pants off of them and suck things that are only meant for girls to suck.

"Draco?" said Harry cautiously. "Ron," he whispered, "stay out here, just in case he still has the effects."

"OK," said Ron nervously. "Good luck."

Harry closed the door to the Hospital Wing very quietly. "Draco?" he repeated.

"HARRY! Good to see you, old chap!" said Draco cheerfully.

Harry jumped and backed slowly towards the door.

"OK, well, apparently you still have the effects of the bean, so maybe --"

"No I don't! Those wore off a while ago. Everyone just heard that I hit on McGonagall so no one wants to come up here to see me. So that's why I kind of got a little cheerful when you entered. Sorry."

"That's OK. You hit on McGonagall?"

"Hey, finally! Someone who doesn't know!"

"Yeah, well, you better hope I don't tell everyone that you kissed Snape in the door of the bathroom and made an appointment with him in the library."

The color drained out of Draco's face. "What did you just say to me?"

"That's right. Ron and I saw it, and we have half a nerve to go telling the whole school about it as well, so I'd be nice to me if I were you."

"OK, let me explain that. One, I was under the influence of the bean in that, and two, I only agreed to the library since I was under the influence of the bean!"

"Well, you did it before as well."

"That was only once, and I was under the influence of the bean."

"But the effect of the bean wore off after you made out with Hermione! I was there!"

"Well, I only left because I didn't like being attracted to you, Potter. The effect hadn't worn off yet, and I ran into Snape in the hallway. Since I was still under the effect I asked him if he wanted to snog and he said he's been waiting for six years for me to ask him. Then when we started snogging, he took off his pants and wanted me to do the same, but as he asked the effect wore off and I just told him no because he didn't have a penis."

"That's really disgusting."

"I know."

"But hey, at least he always never has a penis."

"What?"

"Ron and I put a potion on him and it took off his clothes, and we agree with you on the no penis part."

"See, that's kind of disgusting."

Hermione walked in the Hospital Wing.

"Is it safe?" she asked.

"Is Draco trying to snog me?" asked Harry.

"Well, no."

"Then what's the answer?"

"OK. Well, hi Draco."

"Hi, Hermione," said Draco. "You aren't afraid to come in here, either?"

"Well, I was. Ron warned me that it might be dangerous, but I thought that I might bring you some Bertie Bott's to help you feel better."

Draco gave her a nasty look, then calmed down a little. "As long as you promise they're normal Bertie Bott's."

"They are," said Hermione. She walked in front of Harry and he noticed that she had her fingers crossed. "Well, Harry and I better go, class is starting soon."

She took Harry out of the Hospital Wing and Harry noticed that Ron wasn't there.

"Harry, Fred and George are giving the beans around like mad! They made them work, and after only two days you'll be able to control it so it's only people you know! They made the effect last, and now they're trying to work on genders! They thought that selling them as Bertie Bott's was a great idea! They're also working on a counter-curse."

"You're letting them do this, Hermione?"

"You haven't seen the school yet," said Hermione. "They made one especially for McGonagall and Dumbledore so they would only fall in love with each other." She laughed. "Harry, once you see the school you're going to go berserk!"

They walked down the stairs and Harry looked around. His jaw dropped. He saw Ginny talking to a suit of armor and telling it how sexy it was and how much she wanted it to take off the suit of armor so she could see what really lied beneath; he saw Ron kissing Parvati Patil and telling her how beautiful she was and how much he wanted her to marry him; he saw Lavender Brown snogging Neville in the halls and telling him how much he meant to her; then he looked more closely at Neville and noticed that he was telling her how sexy she was and how big her boobs were against his chest; he saw Colin Creevey chasing around some girl that Harry didn't know, and he noticed that apparently the girl hadn't taken a bean yet; and most importantly, he saw Fred and George right down the hall laughing at what they'd done.

They spotted Harry and walked down to him, laughing.

"See, Harry? The bean is awesome!" said George.

Harry smiled. "Yeah. And Madame Pomfrey is going to have a blast when Draco starts hitting on her."

"That's just the thing, we made it in age groups. Ron told us about Draco snogging Snape and that was a bit too disgusting, so we had to make some modifications."

"Yeah," said Fred, "but once Draco gets out of the Hospital Wing it'll reek chaos on everyone!"

"But by then, at least he'll be able to control it."

"Well, only the people he knows at least."

"Yeah, so he better start hoping that he doesn't know a lot of people!"

They laughed and started walking away; actually, it was a bit of a run so they didn't have to worry about being hit on.

"Harry," said Hermione, "I think we should go before --"

"Harry!" came the voice of Colin Creevey, who had stopped chasing the girl. "I always knew you had fine looks, but never --"

"Shut it, Colin," said Harry.

"Before that happens," said Hermione.

They ran down the hall, but Colin was right behind them.

"Harry! I love you! Don't leave me!"

Hermione dragged Harry into the girls' bathroom and locked the door.

"I hope Fred and George make it only different genders soon," she panted, "because I don't know about you, but the homosexual stuff is getting really disgusting."

Harry saw a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans on the floor.

"That's odd," he said. "Wonder what these are doing here."

Hermione turned, but before she could tell Harry not to eat them, he had already swallowed one.

"Oh, you idiot!" she said. "Well, might as well play along. Give me one."

She took the box out of his hands.

"Oh, so you like it rough, do you beautiful?" said Harry.

Hermione took a bean and ate it.

"Yeah," she said. "I like it rough and dirty!"

She leaned in and kissed him. They started off with a nice kiss, but then Harry opened his mouth and used a bit of tongue. Besides the effect of the bean, Harry felt like this actually meant something. Hermione had felt the same way, and the kiss didn't get rough and dirty like it was supposed to because of the bean, but it was soft and sweet like they both actually wanted it. He pulled Hermione back with him as he went up against the wall, and they slid down onto the floor.

Harry rolled around and got on top of her. Hermione pulled away.

"Harry, we shouldn't," she said.

"Yes, we should," he said.

"No! Harry, did you feel anything besides just the beans power at work?"

Harry stopped. "Yeah, I did. I don't feel wild and crazy like the bean is supposed to make me feel."

"Me neither."

"I feel like I actually want you, that we actually _should_ do this."

"Me too. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't the bean."

He leaned back in and did so much more than just kiss her.

A couple of hours later, Fred and George emerged from there hideout and went down the hall. They passed the girls bathroom, where Harry and Hermione were coming out, holding hands.

"Wow, the bean must have had some effect," said George.

"Did it wear off?" said Fred.

"No," said Harry. "But we must've gotten one that only attracted us to one person."

"Yeah, we put that box in there," said George.

"Thanks," said Hermione.

"Wait, why do you two look so happy?" asked Fred.

"Need I spell it out?" said Harry.

"Harry! Hermione! You wouldn't! You didn't!"

"We did," said Hermione. "But we both wanted to, and it had nothing to do with the bean either."

"I guess the bean just showed us our true emotions," said Harry.

"That box was the last one where the effects wore off, and you two are going to feel dirty after this."

Harry looked at Hermione. She looked back at him.

"But we both wanted it," said Harry.

Fred and George pulled out a box of Bertie Bott's.

"Here, take these and you can do more than snogging with anyone you want," said Fred.

"I just want -- wait a minute," said Hermione. "I think the effect wore off. Harry, I _do _feel dirty about what we did!"

"But, Hermione," said Harry helplessly. "We wanted to!"

"You mean -- the effects haven't worn off on you yet?"

"They did, but I know now that it's you that I've wanted for all of these years."

Colin came running down the hall.

"There you are, Harry my love!" he said. "Would you like to be my snogging partner? They're having a contest! It's kind of hard since everyone's in love with everyone else, but you're only allowed to pick one partner, and I've always wanted to kiss you, Harry."

"Go away, Collin, you gay little freak!" said Harry.

"Fine," said Colin, unhurt, "but tell me if you want to join in! It's really fun!"

He turned and sped down the hall.

Harry looked back at Hermione. She looked sad.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Harry, I've always been brought up differently, and --"

"Before you two continue," said Fred, "George and I will be going to go sell these. Make some money!"

"Bye," said George.

They left.

"Anyway," said Hermione.

"Hermione, don't," said Harry. "I really felt a passion with what we just did. I don't care if you feel guilty by it because I didn't. And I'm really sorry that you feel bad about it, but I really do love you, and I wanted this relationship to continue, but I guess not."

"Harry, let me finish. I feel bad by it, but I felt good when we did it. Just please don't go off telling anyone. I want this to stay between us."

"What about Fred and George?"

"They won't remember it in a couple of minutes," said Hermione, smiling. "I'll go perform an Anti-Secret spell. If they tell anyone, well, let's just hope they don't, or they'll never be able to do what we just did."

Harry smiled. He touched her cheek.

"I really do love you," he said. "And it isn't just the bean."

"Let's not take another bean, ever," she said. "Let's let this love remain between us."

"OK," he said.

She turned and walked down the hall to go perform the spell on Fred and George.

Harry walked down the hall and ran into Cho.

"There you are, Harry," she said. "I was just thinking about how sexy you were and I decided I wanted you as my partner for the snogging contest."

_She must've taken a bean_, thought Harry. _Oh well. A lot better than Colin._

"Whatever," said Harry. "Let's just go get it over with."

_Harry, Harry, Harry. You foolish little boy! Of course you have powers of mine! Don't you think I'd know? I gave them to you. You took away most of my life when I tried to take away yours._

_You have plenty of my powers, and I want for you to use them. I'm aware you're a good wizard, but in time you will convert to be on my side. You can't escape from it, Harry._

_And I want you two know two things:_

_One, I intercepted that letter you wrote to Weasley. I'll let that go, but mention no danger to anyone else, or else._

_Two, I'm very proud of you and Hermione. Yes, yes, I know. I told you, I see everything._

_It's strange conversing with you as well, but there are secrets in your future that you will need to learn of._

_I expect a letter back, or else._

_TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE_

_I Am Lord Voldemort_

Voldemort folded the letter up and gave it to the owl. Wormtail was off talking to Mundungus, so Voldemort was left all alone.

"Yes, yes," he said to himself. "Secrets. Poor Hermione."

Two days later, Draco left the Hospital Wing. He went down to the Great Hall for breakfast, and was shocked at what he saw:

Everyone was snogging someone else; even the teachers were snogging each other. He looked around and saw that, in fact, four people were not snogging: Fred, George, Harry, and Hermione. He all of a sudden felt an odd draw to them and walked over to them.

"Hey, Harry," he said in a sexy voice. "Hermione, Fred, George. You four are open."

"No, we're not," said George. "But Crabbe is." He pointed over to Crabbe, who looked happy, in love, and alone at the same time.

"Oh," said Draco, feeling an odd draw to Crabbe. "Well, then if you'll excuse me."

Draco left and went over to Crabbe.

"Crabbe, baby," he said, "why are you all alone?"

Crabbe's eyes lit up. "Just waiting for you, hot cakes!"

Crabbe stood up and snogged Draco, right there on the spot. They were the only two who were a gay couple together.

Dumbledore stopped kissing McGonagall for a minute and shouted: "STOP!"

Everyone did so.

"I hate to stop the snogging fest, I really do," he said, looking at McGonagall. They smiled at each other. "But I really must tell you that it's breakfast time. And I have two announcements: Christmas break is coming up soon, so if you are leaving, then sign up to do so soon, and the kissing contest will be held after your first class. No kissing during classes, although I know how hard it is to leave your partners." He looked at Draco and Crabbe, who were rubbing each others legs. "I hope most of you keep it to where it won't -- erm -- offend the non-gay people, but that's your affair. Eat up!"

The food came to the plates, but only Fred, George, Harry, and Hermione cared; everyone else had gone back to kissing their partners. Some were even travelling around and hitting on other people. There were groups of up to thirty people snogging each other; there was butt touching, robe removal (which was stopped) and there was a lot of sucking going around -- of the necks, mind you.

"Well, it seems that I've lost my appetite," said Hermione.

"What are you talking about?" said Fred, laughing. "This is too priceless! Especially Crabbe and Malfoy!"

Harry looked and saw that Crabbe and Malfoy were holding hands and leaving. He saw that Crabbe's hand was grabbing Draco's butt, and he looked away, disgusted.

"Harry," said Hermione. "Come with me."

She got up from the table and Harry followed. As soon as they left the Great Hall, Hermione started kissing Harry.

"What's this for?" asked Harry.

"Let's do it again," said Hermione dreamily.

"Did you take another bean?"

"No! Come on, let's go into the dungeons. I thought about it, and it felt good, and I want to do it again if you do."

"Come, the dungeons call!"

They walked into the dungeons.

"That cupboard looks comfortable," said Hermione.

They opened the door and saw Draco and Pansy in the cupboard, buck naked, entwined in each other.

"Shut the door, Granger!"

"OK!"

Hermione shut the door quickly and breathed hard.

"That was disgusting!" she said.

"Yeah," said Harry.

"Let's forget about that."

"Deal."

Draco scrambled around in the cupboard to put on his clothes.

"Sorry about that, Pansy," he said.

"Where are you going?"

"I want to leave before I get caught again."

"But what about me?"

Draco kissed her, then started taking off his robes, decided it was worth it.

"OK, fine, you win. Turn over. I've got some tricks to show you."

Harry unlocked the door to the girls' bathroom.

"I thought you didn't want to do it again? That you felt dirty last time," he said.

"Harry, that time was better, you know you liked it!"

"I liked it the first time, too. But you still said you didn't want to do it again."

"Well, that was before we walked in on Draco and Pansy. I got jealous, then decided we should."

An owl flew up against the window again when they re-entered the tower. They were alone, since the kissing contest was going on (they'd missed their first period.)

"Well," said Hermione, "I'm going to go get ready for my second class. Meet you down here in a few minutes."

"You, two," said Harry.

She kissed him. "I love you, Harry."

"I love you more."

She smiled and went up the stairs. Harry opened the window and read his newest letter from Voldemort.

_Dear Voldemort,_

_I will never join you, you sick perverted freak! How dare you watch me do something like that! It's none of your business!_

_And fine, intercept the letter to Mrs. Weasley, I don't care!_

_What is it that you want from me, anyway? Why can't you just leave me the hell alone?_

_I don't want any of your stupid powers, I want you to leave me alone and stop watching me! I love Hermione and -- wait a minute. Are you setting us up?_

_I think you'd better watch your back, Voldemort. If I go to Dumbledore, you won't be able to do anything about it._

_Jerk._

He folded up the letter and gave it back to the owl. He was fuming. How dare Voldemort watch him and Hermione! That was disgusting!

He watched the owl fly away, then went to his dormitory to get his things for class.

About three hours later, Draco and Pansy emerged from a cupboard.

"That was good," said Pansy

"It's not like I haven't done that before," said Draco. "I've done everything we just did in there before, so I'm experienced."

"Who?"

"Lots of girls."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Too bad you're a girl, they give some nice action."

"But I'm in love with you, schnookem! You're my man, remember?"

"Well, I got all I wanted out of you, honey buns, so you can play around now. I know I'm going to."

"So, are relationship now means nothing to you?"

Draco turned and looked Pansy in the eye. "You mean everything to me." He kissed her. "I just want more than your stuff, that's all. I left Crabbe for you, that should be good enough."

He left Pansy and walked down the hall. Pansy watched him go, then started crying.

"But I only wanted you," she said to herself.

Hermione and Harry walked hand-in-hand to the snogging contest. As they got there, they saw that Fred and George were the next contestants.

"Hermione!" said Fred as he saw her. "You look sexy! George, my sexy brother over there, and I took a bean! We're now in love with - well - everyone! George, come back!"

George returned and they snogged. Everyone cheered them on. When they were done, Neville and Lavender stepped up into the ring, hit on Fred and George, then madly started snogging each other. It was long and slow, but everyone cheered. They were only stopped when Lavender started taking off her robes.

"It's nothing we haven't already done!" said Lavender. "Come on, out of three days of hardcore snogging, how do you expect us not to?"

"Yeah!" said Neville. "We just wanted to make this public!"

Shouts of "YEAH!" filled the room. Ron walked up behind them with Parvati.

"Hey sexy," he said to Harry, putting a hand on his butt.

"Ron," said Harry, "I'm with Hermione."

"It's OK, I can go four ways."

Parvati smiled. "He can do all sorts of tricks. You should bed him one day, Harry."

Harry looked as if he were to be sick.

"Go back to the snogging contest," said Hermione, putting her head on Harry's shoulder.

"Why don't you two join?" said Ron, looking at Hermione's butt. "Classes are canceled for the rest of the year! Yeah!"

He and Parvati went back down to the snogging contest.

Harry rubbed his butt. "I can't believe he just touched my butt, _and_ Parvati told me to bed him."

"Well, at least that part with us is real love."

Harry looked at her. "Yeah, it is." He kissed her again.

"Let's stay up here and watch," said Hermione.

"OK."

Colin was next.

"Never mind," said Harry. "Let's just go to Defense Against the Dark Arts anyway."

As they entered their Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, they noticed that nobody was there. They figured that their teacher was at the snogging contest.

"Well," said Harry, "this could be an advantage one day."

Hermione looked a little sad.

"What's wrong, Hermione?" he asked.

"Harry, there's something you ought to know," she said.

"What? What is it?"

She pulled out a book. He saw the title: _Past Lives and the Effects They Have on Us Today_.

"What are you doing with something like that?" asked Harry.

"Well, I thought that our relationship was a bit -- well -- odd, so I went to the library and got this book, and I think you should read something."

She opened the book and gave it to him. He read:

_Past lives can be very evil things. Our past selves could've put a curse on their future selves that can effect the way we function today. There are for types of people in this world, and they're all based on their past lives._

_One type of person is the strong, courageous, out-of-my way person. This type of person likes to try new things, be daring, and is a very good rule-breaker._

_Another type is the brainy, witty, I'm-smarter-than-you person. This type of person is always under pressure, and they only do things when told._

_Another type is the afraid, lack-of-intelligence person. This person is most like the courageous person when it comes to new things, except they aren't daring sometimes because they have a very strong conscience._

_The last type of person is a vicious, evil, I'll-curse-you type person. This type of person is always practicing curses, and this person is what this book revolves around._

_Everyone has a past life. It is believed that the last person set a spell on every other type of person out there. People nowadays are more attracted to their opposites, and it is believed that it is because of this last personality type. _

_Studies have shown that back about 1,000 years ago, the afraid people were with only afraid people, courageous with courageous and so on. It is now studied that no one is together who have the exact same personality types._

"Hermione, why am I reading this?" asked Harry. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I think the last person put a curse on our past lives, yours and mine."

"What?"

"Think about it. Your personality type is the strong, courageous one. My personality type is the brainy, I'm-smarter-than-you-one. Ron's is the afraid one, you know it as well as I do, and Draco's is the vicious one!"

"I'm still not making heads or tails with this, Hermione."

"Read on."

_However, studies have shown that the cruel, vicious personality types have remained together._

"Now, stop," said Hermione. "Think about it. Crabbe and Draco are together, out of all the people from the love bean. You and I are together and are different, then there's Neville and Lavender --"

"I get it," said Harry. "But what about Fred and George?"

"Continue on again."

_Records of a very vicious person from the past have been dug up, which is why we think that it's the vicious personalities who did this. The records are as thus:_

_"I have cursed everyone who is not the same as me. I have vowed that someone who was courageous in the future will do my bidding. They will make lovers out of opposites, and they will eventually conquer the world._

"Stop again. Think of the four houses. The four personalities show the four houses. The person who wrote this must've been Salazar Slytherin, and Fred and George must be the courageous people who will do his bidding!"

"But that means that they'll want to take over soon, too. Wait, that still doesn't explain --"

"Read on."

_It has been studied that the curse in which this person put upon everyone else would lead the two people who were to do his bidding would get together._

"I still don't understand."

"Think, Harry. Voldemort. Salazar Slytherin. They're related, right?"

"Right."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Ah! You're thick. You see, if Salazar knew about Voldemort from his past life, then he would have to get everyone out of the way, right?"

"Right."

"If everyone was in love with everyone else, then Salazar's heir could rise again."

"But how would he know that he would have a powerful heir?"

"I'm working on that. I'm doing a potion that will send us back in time so we can recount the events of Salazar Slytherin."

"Hermione! That's illegal!"

"You've done it before."

"That was Voldemort's doing."

"But no one knows about it. Harry, we need to figure this out. Fred and George didn't just do this for fun, they did this because Salazar Slytherin is back."

"How do you think that?"

"Harry, just go with it. Report back to me in two days and we'll figure out something."

"Hermione, you're a mad woman."

Harry left the classroom.

"Harry! Wait!"

But it was too late. Harry was already gone and Hermione knew that there was no way she could stop him.

_You are very foolish, Harry Potter. Very foolish indeed._

_I see that your dear sex partner Hermione figured this out._

_Tell her to mind her own business if she values her life._

_I'm serious, Harry. Your little girlfriend is right, I'm afraid. Salazar Slytherin has re-arrived on this earth, and I am him. I am his heir, and I will do his bidding._

_Pity._

_Such a pity._

_TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE_

_I Am Lord Voldemort_

Hermione continued to add ingredients to the potion, despite the fact that Harry hated her. She need to do this, she knew she needed to do this.

She had been feeling a little odd lately. Light-headed, a bit foreign to her own body. She'd even been getting sick on occasion.

She put that out of her mind and concentrated on the potion. Ginny walked in.

"Hello, Hermione," said Ginny.

"What about the bean? You took one, I know you did!"

"I'm able to control the feelings; Fred and George taught me how. They can't keep their hands off of each other, though. Hermione, I'm scared."

"Ginny, everything will be all right soon. I promise. I just have to get Harry back on my side."

"What? Why?"

"Ginny, I don't want to involve you in this."

"Well, your making a potion, and potions are only supposed to be made in class, so I could go tell Dumbledore."

"He's too busy snogging Professor McGonagall, it's not like he'd care or anything."

"Hermione, everyone's snogging everyone. Why?"

"The bean."

"I know. But why did Fred and George do this?"

"Ginny, I really have no time for this right now. Just, control your feelings, OK?"

"OK, but --"

"NO BUTS, GINNY! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!"

"Sorry," said Ginny, looking frightened. "But can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I took off the suit of armor's suit. Did you know that there are ghosts in there? Anyway, the ghost said he'd have sex if I wanted because it's been so long. That's why I'm so afraid."

"Did you?"

"No."

"Good. Control the feelings. I'll sort this out, Ginny."

Christmas break neared. It seemed that everyone had learned to control their feelings, but the couples remained; all but Draco and Crabbe. Crabbe seemed to not want to talk to Draco, and he hit on girls, and Draco had girls asking him to do things with them by the barrel load.

"Busy tonight," said Draco. "Got plans with four."

Every girl he turned down looked upset, but he always made plans with more.

"How long?" asked one.

"About three hours. The best three hours of your life."

"How much?"

"As much as you want to pay me. Trust me, when I get through with you, you'll want to empty out your Gringott's account."

"That's disgusting," said Harry.

"Yeah," said Ron. "I'm glad I can control my feelings; promise that I won't grab your ass anymore, but I was a little -- um -- happy that day. Parvati made up for it though."

"Ron, that's enough."

"Right."

"So do you only have feelings for Parvati now?"

"No. It seems that learning to control them only means I don't hit on guys. Fred and George seem to be the only ones who can't control that part."

"Where are they?"

"No one knows. They'll appear every once in a while, looking exceptionally happy, but I don't want to know why."

Harry smiled. "Neither do I."

"I can't believe that there's more than just snogging going around."

"Yeah, me neither."

"How come you haven't hit on anybody but Hermione?"

"Long story."

"Have you, uh, done it yet?"

"Oh yeah. More than once."

"How many?"

"About three."

"Same as me and Parvati. Wow, I get to tie with you for once in my life. This is reason to celebrate...I wonder where Parvati is..."

"Guessing you aren't talking about the celebrate _I_ was thinking of."

"Guess not."

"Hey, speaking of Hermione, where is she?"

"I dunno. Ginny said she saw her the other day."

"Did she happen to mention what Hermione was doing?"

"No, but I'm sure she wasn't doing anything she wouldn't be proud of."

Harry stood up.

"Well, I think I'm going to go find her, anyway."

"You do that."

Harry left the Great Hall, and as soon as he did, he ran into Hermione.

"There you are," he said.

"Harry, I have good news and bad news. Which first?"

"Give me the good news."

"Come with me."

She grabbed his hand and started running up the stairs.

"Hermione! What's all of this about?"

She stopped in front of the girls' bathroom.

"This is good news? I thought it was just good action."

"No! Come inside!"

He went inside and saw two viles.

"What are those?"

"Those are the potions that are going to send us back in time to witness Salazar Slytherin's things and to figure out how he knew."

"OK. So this is the good news?"

"Well, it isn't the best, but I have to admit that it's better than the bad news."

"OK, well, what is the bad news?"

Hermione took a breath, then took Harry's hands.

"Are you ready for it?"

"Yes."

"Harry. I'm pregnant."


	5. Potions and Aftereffects

_**CHAPTER FIVE: Potions and Aftereffects**_

Harry gaped at her.

"What?" He felt a rising sense of guilt as he looked into her sad eyes.

Hermione looked down, embarrassed. "I -- I'm pregnant, Harry."

"How?" His mind raced. He had many questions, he just couldn't word them.

"Er, Harry, let's think back a couple of days -- perhaps I should jog your memory..."

"No, not how did you get pregnant! How do you know that you _are_ pregnant?"

"Ever heard of a pregnancy test?"

"Hermione, this isn't logical." Harry's head spun. _How could this be happening? She couldn't be pregnant! It just wasn't right!_

"Of course it's logical, Harry. We didn't use protection, and we did it more than once, and quite a lot both times if I may add...it all makes sense, Harry."

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"Keep it, of course."

"_WHAT_?" Harry's mind spun around. How could Hermione be pregnant? How could he be a father? He looked into the future and saw himself getting _married_ before he had kids. "Hermione, you seem a little -- erm -- not so angry about this."

"I'm excited! Harry, I'm going to have a baby!"

"But, Hermione, we're teenagers. Your parents are going to be absolutely furious!"

"I know. I figure I'll have the baby over summer vacation...I won't go home for Christmas...they'll probably never let me come back to this school."

"Unless you tell them about the bean."

"Unless I tell them about the bean!" said Hermione as if that were the only logical answer. "Harry, you're a genius!"

"I have my moments."

"Whatever. OK. Slytherin. What are we going to do about him?"

"What about the potions?"

"I know that much; what are we going to do after we find out if he's behind all of this? We need to have something planned out, or we might be in some pretty big trouble."

"I still don't know how this has anything to do with him. He died a thousand years ago."

"Think back to second year, Harry. Voldemort. He's bound to be here. He's re-risen, and I guess he's too stupid to remember that we know he's the heir, so we know he's behind all of this."

"Hermione, don't say anything about Voldemort that's bad. Say good things." He thought back to the letters he'd received from Voldemort; he knew everything.

Hermione looked at him as if he had just kissed Snape. "What? Why?"

Harry thought of Voldemort's past letters again, thinking of how he was going to word it without giving Voldemort away. "Just, don't. Right now, let's worry about the potions, then talk to someone about your pregnancy."

Later that evening, another owl came to the common room, and Harry opened up Voldemort's new letter. Surprisingly, he had just told Harry what Hermione had told him; that he was Salazar Slytherin resurrected. How could Hermione know what Voldemort was going to do? Did Voldemort already have some sort of connection with her? That couldn't be it; she wouldn't say bad things about him if he were controlling her. Unless...

_No_, thought Harry, _stop thinking that! There's no possible way that Hermione is possessed by Voldemort! It's just not possible!_

Harry pulled out a quill and some paper and wrote back to Voldemort.

_Dear Voldemort,_

_I can't believe that I just properly addressed your letter. I think that you should now feel very proud about yourself. _

_I'm guessing that the "pity" part of Hermione was that she was pregnant, right? Well, that's out in the open now. I already know that she's pregnant. Scary, isn't it? Whoa. I'm getting the chills, writing to you as if you were some sort of friend or something. Oh well. You have information, and I want it._

_You know, Voldy, we could start such a beautiful relationship if you stop trying to kill everybody and give me all the information I need._

_Listen, we should talk about some things, Voldemort. For instance, how do you know everything that's going on? It's just not right, you know. And secondly, how did Hermione know what you were going to say before I knew what you were going to say? You know how not right that is? It just... isn't. Anyway, this is it for my latest letter._

_Not that I care or anything, but reply soon. Like I said, if you would just cooperate, this could be the beginning of a nice relationship._

_Harry._

Harry looked over the letter. _Hmm..._ he thought. _Not bad. I can't believe I offered to be his friend or anything, but it's still good._

He folded up the letter and gave it to the owl.

He didn't see the pair of eyes watching his every move from the doorway.

The next day at breakfast, Ron seemed particularly upset with him. Actually, he was upset with everyone but Parvati. Harry looked around. Everyone was mad at everyone else except the first person they looked at; their partner for the snogging contest.

"Harry," said Hermione. "This must be a side-effect or something, because look how angry everyone is! I --" She stopped short as a finger tried to wiggle its way up her butt. She turned and saw Malfoy, smiling.

"Hey there, sexy mama!" he said.

"Draco, what are you doing?" she asked.

"I heard about you and Harry. How come I can't stick my penis up your --"

"Draco, stop right there, you're done. You should still be a virgin, you loser! You can't just have random sex! You're in love with Crabbe!"

"You should be a virgin as well. Well, I'm not, neither are you, we're both experienced, how 'bout we do it right on the table."

"OK, Draco, you're officially pissing me off," said Harry. "Hermione's body parts are left strictly for _me_!"

Hermione froze. "Wait, Harry...you didn't take a bean, did you?"

"I learned to control the feelings, and --"

Hermione grabbed him and randomly started kissing him. "I took one, too," she said. "I still liked the sex, though."

Draco coughed. "What about me?"

"What about you, you stuck-up, stuff-your-cock, I-wanna-get-into-everybody's-pants-but-I'm-too-ugly-to-get-anyone?"

"Hey!" He leaned in. "I don't stuff."

"Well, then you must've put a spell on."

"OK, I couldn't even reach the toilet! It wasn't supposed to get that big!" He looked shockingly embarrassed.

"So, did you lose your virginity when you couldn't even pee over the toilet?" Harry smiled.

"No. I couldn't even get an erection. I suffered from impotence."

"Draco, that's disgusting," said Hermione. "I seriously don't want to have to deal with all of your little body parts."

"It's a turn-on if you ask me," said Harry. He laughed out loud, thinking of Draco actually suffering from something other than stupidity. "How come you don't have a particular love interest?"

"Because, I naturally like everyone, so the bean didn't have that 'one person' effect."

"What? I don't get it."

"I'm guessing that the bean also kind of goes with inner feelings, and since I'm naturally horny, I guess it doesn't make me just attracted to one person."

"I thought that you hated everyone?"

"That's just my image; I like more people then you think." Draco started rubbing Harry's arm.

"All right, this should be ending right about now," said Hermione.

"Harry," said Draco, continuing to rub him. "No after-effects?"

"Draco, it was sarcasm. My penis is for Hermione."

"OK!" shouted Hermione. "Can everyone stop talking about everyone else's penis?"

She left the Great Hall.

"Good job, sexy man," said Draco.

Harry punched him in the face and left.

Hermione entered the off-limits girls' bathroom that they used in second year. She was happy to see that Myrtle wasn't there, and she removed her clothing. She sat in front of the mirror and looked at her potion. Her voice turned deep.

"I am here, Lord," she said. The reflection of Voldemort looked back at her.

"Kill him," said Voldemort. "He's catching on. I just received a letter from him."

"I can't! People would get suspicious! And besides, he should learn all he can before we move into a plan of action! What about the baby?"

"The plan is going as -- well -- planned. The potion you used on yourself as well as him was extremely intelligent!"

Hermione smiled. "The witch inside me has very intellectual abilities. I can hear her screaming though; she's upset with the decision."

"It wasn't hers to make!"

"You know, Salazar Slytherin must've had some major issues, because I don't know if you've noticed, but look around! Three-fourths of the relationships are guys and guys or girls and girls! Look, I had sex with a guy! Harry Potter, no less!"

"Well, you're in a girl's body. Well, anyway, we all know Slytherin was gay. Well, look at all the pansy's that are in there."

"You were in there."

"I didn't say everyone was a pansy! Shut up!"

Hermione strained her ears as she heard footsteps. "I must go."

She pulled her robes back on and hurriedly left the room.

When Harry ran into Hermione later that evening, he was full of more questions.

"Where have you been? Why did you leave? Are you mad at me? Did I do something? What?"

"Harry," said Hermione, putting a finger on his lips to hush him. She whispered in an extremely soft voice, "It's all right. You don't need to worry about me. Just because I'm carrying our son doesn't mean that --"

"Wait," said Harry before she could continue. "Our _son_? How do you know that it's a boy?"

Hermione smiled. "You'll find out one day. Until that day, don't worry about it. OK?"

He smiled, then lightly kissed her. "OK. Do you want to go back to the common room?"

"No, I'm actually going to head over to the library to look up time-traveling potions. Care to join me?" As she said "library", she began walking in that particular direction.

"Yeah," said Harry, grabbing her hand. "I think it would be better if you and I looked up stuff together. You know; spent more time together. After all, we are going to be parents."

As they entered the library, Hermione seemed to know _exactly_ where to go; the Restricted Section. However, this time they didn't have a Gilderoy Lockhart who would sign a note saying they could go into the section. However, Hermione seemed to know exactly what to say to Madame Pince; she seemed to have a very strange -- power -- around her.

As Hermione grabbed the book -- _Most Potente Potions _-- she took Harry to a table in the back of the room.

"OK," she said, "this potion is going to be extremely difficult. We're going to have to break a whole bunch of school rules in order to do this. Are you OK with that?"

"Hermione, how many rules have we broken in our six years of schooling here?"

Hermione smiled and looked at him with passion. "You're right." She sarcastically smacked herself in the face. "I guess this'll be easier than I thought."

Harry smiled back. "OK. So how exactly do we do this?"

Hermione handed him the book and pointed to the ingredients. "OK, so basically we need to steal every herb from Snape we can find, plus some from Madame Sprout in the Herbology rooms. Snape's is going to be the most difficult, seeing as how we're going to take all but two items from him, but Herbology will be good. Since I'm more sneaky than you -- no offense -- I'll take over Snape's office. OK?"

Harry smiled again. "OK. I think with all the snogging going around, it should be easy to get into everything."

She smiled back. "Well, let's start while we're lucky. Remember the after-effects. All right. So are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

After they got all the ingredients, Hermione had instructed Harry to come back to the out-of-order girls' bathroom.

"OK," she said. "I need for you to understand that the whole time we're in the life of Salazar, we won't be able to be seen."

"I can deal with that," said Harry, thinking back to second year when he went into Voldemort's memory and no on could see him. "Will we still be able to communicate to each other?"

"I don't know. That's a question that we're going to need to really think about as we go back." Hermione looked somewhat nervous, and Harry saw that there was vacantness behind her eyes, like she wasn't really Hermione.

"Hermione, are you OK?" he asked.

"I'm fine!" she snapped. _Don't blow your cover! _she instantly thought. "I'm just -- nervous, that's all. OK. This potion is going to take quite a while to make. About a week. Do you think that you can wait that long?"

"Hermione, you're in on this, too."

Hermione cringed. "I know. Just -- I'm not having a good day, OK? I found out that I got an A on my Transfiguration test. I always get O's. You know how picky I am about my grades."

"Yeah," said Harry. He knew she was lying to him, but he didn't want to pressure her into telling him anything that she wanted to keep to herself.

"All right. Go make sure no one's killing themselves, and I'll keep working on this. In a week, we'll know how Salazar really worked."

_Harry, Harry, Harry!_

_You foolish little boy! Do you honestly think that I, Lord Voldemort, am going to cooperate with you? If you can't remember, you're the reason that I lost a lot of my power. My main goal in life now is to kill you. _

_Yes, it's true, I've been very sneaky about my means of finding out information. Oh well. In time, my boy, you will understand how I do it. In time, I may even be able to get you on my side. I know, you refuse now, but later on, when your life depends on it, you will be running to me and begging me to let you stay with me. I've seen it before._

_I actually am starting to feel sort of bad that you have to go through all of this, you know. It's so hard know that all of the answers to all of your questions are right under your nose, but you don't even care to see them._

_I know everything, Harry. I know every detail of the baby inside of Hermione; the gender, the name, how great it's going to become._

_I'm closer to you than you think, Harry. I've found a way to get inside your school, and now I will never, ever leave._

_TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE_

_I AM LORD VOLDEMORT_

As Harry returned to the common room, he found that it was completely empty except for Ron, who was sitting on a soft chair, gazing blankly into the fire.

"Ron?" he asked slowly, afraid Ron was going to start snapping at him.

Ron looked up. "Hiya Harry." He sounded glum, so Harry went over and sat down next to him.

"What's wrong, mate?"

"It's Parvati; she's gone mad. Everyone has. The bean seems to be affected everyone in more ways than we thought it was going to. It's scary, really. I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?"

"You should see them, Harry. They're all going mad. All the purebloods are running around trying to find the Muggle-borns. It's terrible, Harry. It's just like in second year. I pushed passed my feelings and I came back here. You should see their eyes, Harry. They're glazed over, full of anger. I'm scared, Harry. I don't know what to do."

"Ron, why do you keep saying my name like that?"

"Because, Harry. Don't you see it? It's happening."

"What's happening?"

"We're all going to die, Harry!" Ron's voice turned into a yell. "I can't believe you don't see it! It's the end, Harry! We won't make it much longer!"

"Ron, you're really starting to scare me," said Harry, standing up from the chair and backing up.

Ron wasn't going to let him get away that easily. "I'm not done, Harry. Let me finish, Harry. You don't understand how much danger we're in! We need to find the counter-effect to the bean, Harry."

Harry raced for the door.

"You aren't leaving that fast, Harry." Ron picked up his wand and started chasing after Harry.

Harry pushed open the common room door and ran down the hall. He could hear Ron closely behind him, talking to him in a demonic voice so low Harry couldn't understand what he was saying. He turned left, he turned right, he sped up, he tried to get rid of Ron, but Ron seemed to have some sort of superhuman strength. Harry started getting tired, but he knew Ron wasn't going to give up that easily.

"_Avada Kadavra!_" shouted Ron.

Harry ducked and saw a stream of green light fly about half an inch above his head.

"Ron!" he shouted. "You're going mad!"

"You know that you're half a Muggle, don't you, Harry?" asked Ron, tilting his head eerily to the side. "You know what purebloods have to do with Muggles, don't you?"

Harry found some inner strength and started sprinting down the hall.

"I'll find you, Harry!" he could hear Ron shout from behind him. "You can't escape! I'm watching you!"

Harry stopped dead in his tracks, hiding in the shadows.

_I'm watching you._

The words echoed around his head.

_Voldemort._

_Ron._

_Hermione._

_Fred._

_George._

They were all acting demonic. Everything was going weird.

_Demonic._

Harry thought about the word for a couple of seconds.

_Who's the most demonic person I've ever heard of?_ he thought to himself.

The answer to the question came just after he thought of it:

_Salazar Slytherin._

Hermione continued to brew the potion. Part of her, the real part of her, kept screaming inside, ordering Voldemort to get out of her.

_You're going to be in so much pain when you get out of me!_ the real part of her thought.

_On the contraire, _thought Voldemort back, _I will never get out of you, and you will never bring me pain._

The body of Hermione smiled.

The door burst open and Harry came sprinting in the bathroom.

"I've figured it out," he said. "I've figured out how everything's working. I - I know! Hermione, Voldemort's here, in school, and - and he's found a way to resurrect Slytherin or - or something."

Hermione looked at him, shocked.

_Ha!_ thought the real Hermione.

"What are you talking about?" said the body of Hermione. "Harry, that doesn't make any sense." The body of Hermione felt a cold sense of dread swelling up in her every pore.

"Sure it does. It's hard to explain right now, I know, but trust me on this one, Hermione. You have to understand that I know I'm right."

"How?"

"What?" Harry looked at her as if she were a monkey who had just spoken.

"How do you know you're right, Harry?"

"Hermione -- how can you say that?"

"Harry, come on! Use that brain of yours! There's no possible way that Salazar Slytherin can be resurrected. It's just impossible!"

"But--"

"No buts!"

"Yes buts!"

"No!"

"Hermione, listen. We have to find a way to brew the potion faster. Just, do it, OK?"

Hermione looked at him with daggers. "I can't just make it go faster. It isn't like _poof _'OK, the potion's done.' These things take time, Harry."

"We don't have time, Hermione!" shouted Harry.

"Don't get that tone of voice with me," she said. She turned back down to the cauldron and pretended as if nothing had just happened.

"Me don't get that tone with you? What about you, Hermione? You've been hot and cold ever since you told me you were pregnant! You were happy, then you were angry, then two seconds after you were angry you were happy again, then you got mad three seconds after that! Then you go off and tell me to make sure every one else is happy and then I come back and I think I figured out how to put an end to all this madness and you get mad at me! Something's going on, Hermione. You know it, I know it. You have more than just the effects of the bean inside of you, Hermione, and you haven't been pregnant long enough to get the mood swings. So please, enlighten me. What is wrong? I want to help you, Hermione. I want to get through this, but I need your help. I can't fight this alone."

Hermione looked as if she's been slapped by Hagrid. "I - I had no idea that you felt that way, Harry."

"Well, maybe if you would stop yelling at me long enough to talk to me, you would, now wouldn't you?"

"Harry, come on, stop it."

"Stop what?"

"You keep pointing the finger at me! It's always got to be _my_ fault. You have a role in this too, Harry. I can't take responsibility for everything. You know that."

"Yes, I do. And I understand how you can be mad, but what about me? I'm not trying to point the finger at you, I'm just merely stating that this is getting out of control. Everywhere."

"I know. I'm scared, too." She started crying. "I just don't know what to do."

Harry walked over to her, sat by her, and put his arm around her. "It's going to be OK, Hermione. In a week, we'll know everything that Salazar Slytherin had -- or has -- up his sleeve. OK?"

"OK."

"Geez," said a voice from the door. Harry looked up and saw Draco standing in the doorway. "You two are just like a married couple, I swear. You fight one minute, then two minutes later it's over." He sighed. "And here I was, thinking that you two were going to get physical with it. In more ways than one, if you know what I mean."

"Get away Malfoy, you git!" shouted Harry. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. So. Hermione's pregnant. Miss 'I-must-be-proper-at-all-times' went and got laid from you."

Harry's fists clenched together. "I'm warning you, Malfoy."

"What are you going to do about it?" he asked teasingly. "You won't ever do anything about it; if you were, you would've done it in the past five years we were here."

"Malfoy, please--" started Hermione, looking scared.

"Ah, so Granger does still have some manners in there, eh?"

"Shut up!" said Harry. "Malfoy, can't you just go away?"

"Apparently you haven't heard."

"Heard what?"

Malfoy took out his wand and pointed it at Harry.

"Heard that any pureblood is killing any mudblood or halfblood they meet." He lifted up his wand. "_Avada Kad_--"

"_Rictusempra!_" shouted Harry, pulling out his wand and cutting Draco off. Draco flew backwards and shot through the door. Harry put his wand away, but Draco wasn't finished. He pointed it back at Harry.

"_Ustes!_" he shouted. Harry stood stunned for a moment, not ever hearing the spell before. Draco stared back, smiling. Nothing happened for about two seconds, but then Harry started vibrating. He felt as if he'd stuck his finger in a light socket, and thought that he wouldn't be able to stand the pain.

"Like that one, Potter? Came up with it myself."

The pain became like a massage from the inside pushing against the skin, and Harry thought he was about to burst. Then, randomly, it stopped.

"Care to fight more?" asked Draco.

"You started it," retorted Harry coolly.

"Both of you, stop!" shouted Hermione. She looked at Draco as if she were about to kill him. "Draco, do you mind explaining yourself?"

"Everyone's doing it; kill the mudbloods and halfbloods. You're next, Granger."

"I will not be condemned to your stupidity."

Draco sneered. "Watch what you say, Granger."

He turned on his heel and walked out of the bathroom, muttering something about sweet revenge. Hermione went over to Harry to make sure he was all right.

"I'm fine," said Harry. "Why did he go after me first?"

"I don't know." Hermione really did know, or at least the Voldemort part of her did, but of course she kept her mouth shut.

When Harry returned to the common room, he found the all-too-familiar owl beating on the window with Voldemort's latest letter in its beak. Harry read it and gave an angry reply.

_You don't know the first thing about me! I don't care if you're watching me! Kill me now! I'm tired of you pretending._

That was going to get him into trouble, and he knew it, but he didn't care.

Ron stepped through the portrait hole, but Harry didn't notice. He pulled out a dagger and slowly sneaked up on Harry. Harry gazed into the fire, fuming that Voldemort was being so stubborn. He tied his letter back to the owl and it flew off into the night.

Harry closed his eyes and lay his head on the chair, wanting to fall asleep right there.

Ron continued to edge closer, happy that his inner demon would be happy at him for killing a halfblood.

Harry continued to think about Voldemort and the situation, but he couldn't come to a conclusion of how it all played out, and especially how Hermione wouldn't believe him. Something had to be wrong...

Ron stood about two feet from Harry, holding the knife up. He was about to attack.

Harry thought about how Hermione had always agreed with him, how she always backed him up unless she knew, unless she was three thousand percent _positive_ that he was wrong. He knew something was wrong with her, and he was determined to find out.

Ron continued to walk, slower now, to Harry. He could feel the excitement of his first kill oozing up into every pore of his body.

Harry thought about how he was going to deal with Hermione. There had to be some way.

Ron edged closer. Almost there...

Harry couldn't let her not agree with him like that...something was _wrong..._

Almost there...

Harry shifted his weight on the chair.

Almost there...

Harry snapped his eyes open, sure that he was going to sort this out with Hermione.

Ron froze.

Harry stood up and turned, only to face the cold blade of the knife going through his stomach.


	6. Traveling Backwards

_**CHAPTER SIX: Traveling Backwards**_

Harry stared into Ron's cold eyes, feeling a very strong sense of pain oozing through his body. He could feel his blood start to drip down onto the knife, then pass to the floor. He found some inner strength and took the knife out of his stomach . Ron looked at him in disbelief, and Harry drew back his right arm, took all the energy he had, and hit Ron straight between the eyes. Ron flew backwards and hit his head on a table they'd always used to study on, clearly unconscious.

Harry turned and ran out of the portrait hole. As soon as he got out, he looked both ways to see if anyone was following him. He turned left and started heading for Dumbledore's office, sure that he had to be safe there. He grabbed his side, feeling the pain rising up, and looked at the blood on his hand. He found some inner strength, pushed aside the pain, and kept running.

As he turned the corner nearest the kitchen, he tripped and stumbled over something. The pain shot up through his abdomen again.

"Ouch!" said a muffled voice.

"Dobby?" asked Harry incredulously. He breathed hard, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Harry Potter!" said Dobby, beaming with affection.

"What are you doing here?"

"Winky is talking about bad things that goes on in the school, and Dobby comes down to find out about them, sir." Dobby looked at Harry's side. "Harry Potter is hurt!"

"Dobby, it's crazy out there! Take me back to the kitchen, please! I need to sit down and have some time to just -- think."

Dobby smiled, nodded, and beckoned for Harry to follow him to the kitchens. As they got there, Dobby gave the password ("_Flibbertigibbet_") and Harry entered.

"Dobby has a healing potion that he always keeps handy," said Dobby. He lowered his voice. "It's for Winky when she's suicidal. Dobby will go get it for Harry Potter."

"OK."

He looked around the all-too-familiar kitchen, having come here before, and spotted Winky in the corner, looking somewhat depressed. Harry walked over and sat down next to her.

"What's the matter, Winky?"

Winky looked at him with tears streaming down her face. "It's the school, Harry Potter. It is gone absolutely crazy! Winky is getting very afraid for her safety, Harry Potter, and she thinks that you should be as well."

Harry smiled. "It's all right, Winky. Fred and George just made their joke a little dangerous this time. I'm sure we'll find some sort of way to sort things out. Is that OK?"

Winky shook her head. "Winky does not think that Harry Potter understands."

Harry nodded. "I do."

Winky persisted. "Harry Potter does not know! He should not be messing around in things he has no understanding of!"

Dobby put a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Dobby thinks it's best if Harry Potter goes along with Winky. She's been very on edge lately, and it would be most unwise to disturb her." He handed Harry the potion.

Harry nodded in agreement. "OK, Dobby." He took the potion and drank it. He instantly felt better and looked down, noticing the wound was gone.

He stood up and headed for the door.

"Where is Harry Potter going?" asked Dobby.

"I'm going to sort things out," Harry replied bluntly. He opened up the portrait and started walking out.

Dobby ran over to the portrait and shoved Harry aside, closing it before Harry could leave.

"No!" he shouted. "Harry Potter must not go back out there!"

"But I have to get a hold of my friends!" Harry replied desperately. "They need me out there, Dobby!"

"You don't understand!" Dobby persisted. "You is the only one who is unaffected by the bean! You is the only one who can save us! Don't run into the trap!"

"There _is_ no trap, Dobby!"

Harry went back over to the portrait hole, picked Dobby up, and shoved him aside. He opened up the door and ran away as quickly as he could, desperate to try to get away from any other scary house elves that were trying to kill him.

"You will pay for this!" shouted an angry Dobby from behind Harry.

Harry sprinted down the hall. He was wondering why Dobby was in such a bad mood, seeing as how Dobby was always there to help.

He turned the corner and literally ran into Hermione. He stumbled backwards, staring at her as if it were the first time he'd ever seen her.

"S-Sorry," he stammered.

She blushed. "It's all right."

"How's the potion coming?"

"It's getting there. I actually think I found a way to speed things up."

"Did you really?"

"Yeah."

Harry could feel excitement swelling up in him. "Great! That means that we'll be back there in no time!"

Hermione smiled. "Yeah. I'm kind of frightened, though. I mean, we don't know how he lived. I mean, it could be dangerous."

Harry sensed that something was wrong, but he didn't pressure the situation. "You were so excited about it when we first began."

Hermione blushed a little. "That was before I thought more about it. Harry, did you know that if you died back there, you'd still die here?"

Harry stared blankly at her. "But we can't be seen there."

"No, we can't, but we're still solid."

"We are?"

"I did some research. You weren't able to be seen, heard, or felt in Tom Riddle's memory because it was just a memory. But since we're forcing ourselves to go back in time, we just won't be seen. We'll still be heard and felt. It's basically like the Time-Turner I had in third year, but the potion puts an invisible shield around us. I'm scared, Harry."

Harry scratched his head. "So we can't talk at all there?"

"Well, we can, but we'll be heard. We just have to time everything right."

"Timing is everything."

Hermione nodded. "This has to be one of the stupidest things I've ever done."

"Hermione, look around. Stupid right now is good."

"Harry, how come we don't have any effects of the bean?"

Harry stared at her bluntly again. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when we had the attraction to each other, I know that you took a bean and I did, too. How come we aren't suffering from the effects?"

"I thought we had a bean that was one of the originals; one that didn't have any effects, including the lasting one?"

Hermione looked down, pondering. "I guess we did, didn't we?"

Harry started walking towards to girls' bathroom. "Come on, we need to get working on that potion before any other odd things happen."

_You know, Harry, I am getting sick and tired of your attitude towards me! I have done absolutely nothing to you, and you treat me like vermin!_

_Sorry, I just wanted to see how that looked. You know, just because I tried to kill you and all doesn't mean you need to hold the grudge against me. Remember in your first year when I even offered to bring your parents back? All I needed was a little bit of help from you, and that was it. But no, you had to be a stubborn little wizard just like your father._

_Oops, I feel I have offended you. Oh well. I've been offending you for fifteen years now, don't think that I'm going to stop now._

_You know, Harry, you've put a lot of things in perspective for me. I mean, I now realize what it's like to be on the verge of death and come back more powerful than ever. I'd look over your shoulder every once in a while, because it's more than Salazar controlling the happenings at the school. That's right, Harry. I'm joining in for a little bit of fun as well. Ooh, sweet revenge._

_So, I understand that you're going back in time to relive Salazar's life. Well, at least the life at Hogwarts. That should be very interesting...very interesting indeed. See, I've communicated with him enough to know that you are in way over your head. You and Hermione. You think that you know everything, but you don't. This will be the time when Hermione returns for victory as Harry Potter gets put under the grave, exactly where he belongs!_

_I bet you're wondering why I have so much confidence in Hermione. I've been watching her especially. All the research she's done on the potion, all the research she's done on Salazar, and all of it's for you. I think that you're very selfish, you know. Letting her do that, all by herself. Well, you know what I say to that? Well, that's another day._

_You know, I'm actually starting to really worry that my competition might leave me. You're the only one I've ever had to compete with in my whole entire life, and now I think that I may just win. Victory has never smelled so sweet._

_Like I've stated before, Harry, look over your shoulder every once in a while. I find that there may be more there than you bargained for. And be aware of your enemies, but be more aware of your friends. Stay close to your friends, but closer to your enemies, and you will succeed and maintain life. _

_Well, this has been fun, but it's all mumbo-jumbo, so I think I'm going to let you ponder over all of this. Good luck, Harry. I'll be sure to go to the funeral._

_TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE_

_I AM LORD VOLDEMORT_

Harry and Hermione entered the girls' bathroom, and Harry saw a book on the ground.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to it so she'd know what he was talking about.

"It's a book about Salazar Slytherin. I found it in the library. I just took it and ran since Madam Pince is suffering from after-effects as well. I saw her and Professor Flitwick snogging behind the counter." She shuddered. "He really needs to get taller so it's easier for him to reach, if you know what I mean. She looked like a child molester."

Harry laughed. "That's definitely something different."

Hermione picked up the book and thumbed through the pages. Harry could've sworn that her eyes turned yellow at one point, but he shrugged it off and just looked over her shoulder.

"It says that Salazar Slytherin did a great deal with mythical creatures and that he was an extremely dangerous person, but it doesn't go into any detail. It says here that he always put the people in his House to extreme challenges and some of them nearly died. He didn't sound like such a great Head of House, but I guess he was good enough since he stayed. It also states here that Salazar had strange ways of getting these creatures. It also says sometimes he sent his students to get them. Harry, if he finds out we're there, we're going to have to do quite a bit."

"I realize that."

"All right, well, according to the potions book, if you hurry the process of the potion, it may take away the invisible power."

Harry stared at her again. "Did you neglect to tell me that in the halls or did that minor detail just slip your mind?"

Hermione looked down. "I didn't want you to get scared."

Harry felt as if he could hit her. "Hermione, this is going to be dangerous! We don't live a thousand years ago! We could die!"

"I know! I've already thought about all of that, Harry. Just, calm down a little, please."

Harry backed down, not wanting to fight this time since he always lost anyway.

"It looks here as if we'll be OK. But Harry, just listen to what I say when we get there, OK?"

"Why?"

"I've done enough studies to know more about it than you, needless to say."

Harry nodded in agreement. "Well, I guess that works. How much longer?"

"It should be ready tomorrow morning. The rest of the school's out and about trying to kill everyone else, so do you think we'd be safe in the dormitories?"

"Not a chance."

There was all of a sudden a really loud bang on the door, and Harry and Hermione jumped.

"They're in there! I know it!" Draco. There was no mistaking that voice.

"Oh, no!" said Harry quietly.

"He's probably got a mad mob out there trying to kill us!" said Hermione. Harry couldn't miss the panic in her voice.

"I know. Come on, we'll need to find another way out."

"No! If we leave and they come in, they might find the potion and take it!"

Harry thought a moment. "What are we going to do?"

There was another loud bang, and more voices this time. Harry went over to the door and looked around for any somewhat strong item that he could use for a barricade.

"Harry, that's useless!" shouted Hermione, the banging and screaming outside getting louder. She ran over to the cauldron and pulled out two viles from her robes and started filling them.

"Hermione!" shouted Harry. "What are you doing? I thought it wasn't finished yet?"

"It isn't! But we have to get out of here! Just come out the window with me and I'll take the viles and just hope it's finished enough!"

Harry ran over to her as she finished filling the viles. The bangs got louder and louder, and Harry knew that if they didn't get out of there soon, the door would fall down and they'd be trapped.

"Come on!" shouted Hermione. She grabbed his hand and ran to the window. She opened it up, and Harry looked down.

"Hermione, you aren't serious!" he said, dazed. He looked down even further and felt his stomach sink.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. Come on, we can run across the roof!"

"But--"

The banging continued, getting heavier with each second.

"Come on!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him outside. They started running carefully on the roof just as the door fell down and Draco, with a mad mob, came inside the bathroom.

"Where did they go?" they heard him shout.

Hermione took Harry's hand and they ran across the roof until they got to the Gryffindor Tower. Harry nearly fell twice, but he caught himself just in time.

As they approached the Gryffindor Tower, Harry saw the same owl he'd been seeing for the past three days or so banging on the window. He went over to it and removed the letter.

"Who's that from?" asked Hermione.

"No one," said Harry quickly, trying to hide the letter.

"Don't be stupid, it has to be from someone!"

"It isn't."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "OK. Come on, let's go inside."

She opened up the window and they carefully lowered themselves into the common room. It was very dark since the house elves decided that they weren't going to make any more fires in the common rooms until the school calmed down.

Harry and Hermione left through the portrait hole, and all of the halls were dark since the house elves refused to light the torches as well.

"We need to find some source of light," whispered Hermione.

"I know," whispered Harry back. "And where do you suppose we'd find this source of light?"

"Hard telling. Come on, let's walk."

They started walking down the hallways, very slowly and softly, listening for any strange noises and not wanting to make any themselves.

They walked down to the Entrance Hall, where they stopped, seeing a mad mob standing in the middle of it where the snogging contest had taken place just days ago.

"All right," came the voice of Draco. "All those filthy little mudbloods are hiding in these halls. Find them! Let none survive! Salazar Slytherin will remain king!"

A cry of agreement spread throughout the hall. Harry and Hermione stayed low, not wanting to be seen, but wanting to get all the information they could possibly get.

"Aren't all of you tired of putting up with them? Don't you all want this to be strictly a pureblood school?"

The same cry of agreement broke out around the hall.

"This is crazy," whispered Hermione. "We need to do something."

"How about get out of here?" whispered Harry back.

They both felt a cold hand on their shoulders. They turned up to see Filch staring in their faces.

"I don't think you'll be doing that," he whispered.

Hermione opened her mouth to scream, but he put a hand on it, surprisingly very gently. He kneeled down by them.

"You must fail to remember that I'm on your side," he said. "I'm a Squib; they're trying to kill me, too."

Harry let out a sigh of relief. "Good. I mean, good that you're on our side."

"Listen, all of the mudbloods and Squibs are hiding in the Room of Requirement. Do you want to come and stay safe there with us?"

Harry and Hermione nodded.

"All right, then. Come on, come with me."

He took them down the hall, then up a staircase, up another staircase, down another hall, through the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, up another staircase, and down another hall.

"This isn't how we got here before," said Harry.

"Well, this is the safest way _to_ get there," said Filch. He stopped, as if looking around for something. "Ah, here it is," he said after about two minutes of searching. He walked through a wall, and Harry and Hermione followed.

They found themselves in the Room of Requirement, a fire in the fireplace, candles and torches lit around the whole room, and about three-fourths of the school in there.

"Hiya Harry," said Colin glumly.

"Filch," said Hermione gently, "how come none of these people are out trying to kill everyone else?"

"Well, we figure that the only ones trying to kill are the purebloods."

Harry looked around and saw Dumbledore and McGonagall sitting in the back. In fact, he looked around and saw all of the teachers.

"I thought that all of the teachers were purebloods?" he asked.

"Not all of us," said Dumbledore, "but most of us. We figure that we don't have an effect from the bean for reasons unknown."

Harry nodded.

"Please, sit down," said Dumbledore, pointing to two open seats by the fire. Harry and Hermione sat, and as soon as they did, the room continued every conversation that had been going when they entered.

Harry looked at Hermione and saw that she was particularly interested.

"What's up, Hermione?" he asked.

She snapped out of her gaze and turned to him. "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about the potion is all. I just hope it works."

Harry put his hand on hers. "It'll be OK."

"Yeah."

As soon as she went back into her gaze, Harry opened up his most recent letter from Voldemort. As soon as he read it, he threw it into the fire. As soon as the letter fell out of his hands, Hermione snapped out of her gaze again and watched it burn.

"What did you do that for?" she asked.

"It was worthless."

Hermione gave him an odd look. "No letter is worthless. What did it say?"

"Nothing."

Hermione give him a Don't-give-me-that-tone glare. "Really now?"

Harry nodded. "Listen, Hermione, when are we going to take the potion?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know. Sometime tomorrow. But we can't let anybody know we're going it or we might be stopped."

Harry nodded. "Why don't we do it tonight? I mean, after everyone's gone to sleep?"

Hermione thought for a moment. "That might not be such a bad idea."

Harry nodded again. "So tonight?"

"Tonight." Hermione took in a deep breath, then let it out very slowly. "Are you nervous? Scared? Any feelings at all?"

"I'm a little shaky."

"That makes two of us."

Colin came over at that instant and sat down by Harry, looking down. "What's going on, Harry? How come everyone's gotten really mean?"

Harry thought of snapping at Colin, but when he saw the hurt in Colin's eyes he pushed his feelings aside. "I don't know, Colin. But listen, we will sort it all out. Hermione and I." He emphasized the "Hermione and I" part so Colin wouldn't ask if he could help.

"Oh. OK. Well, I'm going to go to sleep. See you two in the morning?"

"Maybe," said Harry.

Colin gave him an odd "What?" look, but then stood up and trailed off to the other side of the room. He found himself a sleeping bag and curled up in it. Harry smiled.

"I'm glad he's safe."

"Really?" asked Hermione.

"Yeah. I like having some look up to me and think that I'm perfect. It's really comforting."

Hermione smiled. "Don't get too cocky." She looked around the room and saw that everyone was following Colin's suit.

"Well, once they all go to bed, we attack."

"Attack?"

"Well, you know what I mean. So I say in a couple of hours, we'll know exactly what it was like to live in the life of Salazar Slytherin."

About two hours later, after everyone had gone to bed and the fire, the candles, and the torches had faded out, Hermione pulled Harry aside and took out the viles.

"All right, a little prewarning," she said. "We won't actually be inside of Salazar, so we're going to have to keep a low profile. We're basically going to be Slytherin students."

"But I thought we're going to be invisible?"

"Well, if we are invisible then just keep quiet and out of the way. If not, we're students. Got it?"

Harry nodded.

"You've traveled by Floo Powder before?"

Harry nodded again.

"Well, this'll basically be just like that. Keep your elbows tucked in, and just go with the flow. Don't try to stop too soon. The potion will stop us at the desired time, I've already set it."

Harry nodded once again.

"So, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'm going to get."

"OK."

Hermione handed him a potion and he took it.

"OK. On the count of three?"

He nodded again.

"One -- two -- three."

Harry took the potion and downed it. Hermione did the same thing. He looked at her and she looked back at him. They stared at each other for a few seconds, then Harry could feel the world spinning around him. He closed his eyes, not wanting to get dizzy. He felt his feet lurch from the ground. He again felt the world spinning around him.

He opened his eyes and saw a bright swirl of every imaginable color. He saw himself, he saw his family, his friends, his family's friends, and his teachers. He watched as the years decreased. It was an amazing sight, watching the world as he knew it completely disappear and go back one thousand years.

As soon as it stopped, he knew that he was living one thousand years ago. He saw Hermione and went over to her.

"So what do you think?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think we can be seen?"

"Ah! There you two are!" Harry and Hermione turned and saw Salazar Slytherin walking towards them. He put a hand on each of their shoulders and gave them cold stares. "I've been waiting for you."


	7. The Life of Salazar Slytherin

_**CHAPTER SEVEN: The Life of Salazar Slytherin**_

Harry instantly felt a cold shill run straight up his spine. He looked into Slytherin's cold eyes and felt his heart sink.

_Slytherin had to know!_

Slytherin guided them towards his office. Harry looked at Hermione only to see that she wasn't worried in the least.

"You two are in big trouble," said Slytherin.

They entered the castle. Harry looked around and stifled a gasp. Everything was different; new. The walls, the wood, the candles, the doors, everything. Harry could definitely tell that there was a one thousand year difference from the castle he was in now and the castle he lived in one thousand years later.

Slytherin took them to the dungeons, another bit of the castle that looked completely new, and to his office near the Slytherin Common Room. As soon as Harry entered the office, he looked around there, too. He had been in Snape's office before, but Slytherin's was better; much cleaner.

"Sit," said Slytherin, pointing to two chairs.

Harry went over and sat down in one of the chairs, closely followed by Hermione.

"Now," said Slytherin, pulling out a piece of parchment. "Let me begin by telling you two that I am very displeased at what you have done."

He put the piece of parchment in front of Harry and Hermione and Harry felt his heart lift; it was a list of things they had done to the school.

"Now," Slytherin continued, "as you know, these incidents are enough to get you expelled." He pulled the piece of parchment back and looked over it. "You've set off snakes in the hallways, laid the candles on the drapery, put robes in the fireplace to burn, and flooded the kitchens."

Harry stared at Slytherin, then figured out what was happening; _he thought they were just students!_

"Explain yourselves," said Slytherin.

Harry looked at Hermione. She spoke up.

"Well, Slytherin, sir, we -- er -- we just decided that we -- erm -- we wanted a -- a -- change in the -- er -- the school, and -- we -- er --"

"Silence!" shouted Slytherin. "Since no serious damage has been done, I will only give you two detention for the rest of the year. Now. Return to your common room and think of what you have done."

Harry and Hermione got up and left the office. As soon as they shut the door, Harry burst out with anger.

"What is happening?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head, clearly confused. "I have no idea."

"How come you didn't panic when he found us?"

"I'd done enough studies on the potion to realize that if we can be seen they'll only think we're students; nothing more, nothing less."

"What House are we in?"

"Apparently we're in Slytherin."

"What about our year? Our names? The password to get into the common room?"

"I'm supposing we're in the same year, I have no idea about our names, but I hope they're the same, and we should just find someone else who knows the password."

Harry shook his head. "Hermione, we don't know how people lived one thousand years ago! We don't know if Hogwarts has the same rules, different ones, or anything of that sort!"

"I know."

Harry stared at her, wanting more information out of her.

"_What are we going to do_?!"

"What we came here for. Follow Slytherin around."

Harry shook his head. "I can't believe this."

"Neither can I. Isn't this the common room?"

Harry looked up and saw that she was, indeed, correct; it was the common room.

"Yeah. But how do we get in?"

A boy walked up behind them. From the looks of it, he was probably in his second or third year, and he gave them an odd look.

"Apparently you two haven't gotten the message," he said rudely, "but us Slytherins don't want you in our House anymore. You two cause too much trouble. Go away!"

He took out his wand, did a curse that Harry had never heard before, and he and Hermione flew backwards all the way down the hall and into a broom cupboard.

"Well," said Harry as he and Hermione got out of the cupboard, "I guess following Slytherin around won't be that hard."

Hermione thought for a moment. "I just hope his life isn't as dangerous as it's supposed to be."

They heard footsteps coming down the hall, and Harry shoved Hermione back in the cupboard. He turned and shut the door behind him. He was very squished in the cupboard, but it was better than being caught by whoever was walking down the hall.

"Ah, there you are, Godric," came a female voice.

_Godric Gryffindor!_ Harry thought happily. _Someone I can relate to!_

"Ah, Helga," came a voice of a male, most likely Godric. "You said you wanted to see me about something? Something about Salazar, no?"

"Yes, it was about Salazar," came the worried voice of what had to belong to Helga Hufflepuff. "I think we need to get Rowena in on this. Things have taken a turn for the worst."

"Why? What's happened?"

"I think we need to get Rowena so we can talk about this."

Harry could see a little in between the cracks of the door, and he saw a very disgruntled woman take the robes of a very confused man and they started walking down the hall.

As soon as he was sure they were out of sight, Harry opened the cupboard again.

"Salazar's up to something," said Hermione. "We need to follow Godric and Helga to the teacher's room so we can find out what it is."

The real Hermione was getting angry towards Voldemort.

_How come you're playing along all sweet and innocent? You know what's happening!_ she thought angrily.

_Actually, no I don't_, thought back Voldemort. _I want to find out all that I can. I know about as much as Harry does, so shut up girl before I kill you._

Harry and the body of Hermione continued walking down the halls.

"Where do you suppose the Staff Room is?" asked Harry. "Think it's the same place?"

"One can only hope," said Hermione.

They came out of the dungeons, looked around, and headed towards the location of what was the Staff Room one thousand years in advance, hoping it was the same now.

As they neared, they noticed that it was, indeed the same Staff Room. They entered, looking around, and saw no one there.

"They're probably getting Rowena," said Harry. Come on, let's hide in the cupboard Ron and I hid in in second year when they were discussing Ginny."

They went to the cupboard, and about two minutes later heard voices. Harry recognized Godric's and Helga's, and he figured the latest female voice had to be Rowena.

"What?" asked Rowena. "What's the emergency?"

"It's Salazar," said Helga.

"What's he done this time?"

"I heard him talking," said Helga. "He was writing a letter out loud, like he always does, to his girlfriend. He said that he had been working on a - a chamber somewhere in the school. He said it was a secret chamber, and he was the only one who knew how to find it and open it. Then he said that he was a raising a monster in there to kill all the Muggle-borns because he disagrees with our ways."

There was a long silence before someone else spoke.

"Are you sure?" It was a male's voice, and Harry knew that had to be Godric.

"There was no mistaking it," said Helga.

There was another silence.

"What are we going to do?" came the worried voice of Rowena Ravenclaw. Harry could tell that she was the most worried out of all of them.

"I think we need to confront him," said Godric.

"And say what?" asked Helga incredulously. "'Salazar, we think that you're brewing evil things in the school can you tell us if it's true?'"

"No, we just need to talk to him."

"That's not the best idea," said Rowena. "I think we need to search for the school for any clues. Search for the chamber."

"OK. That sounds best."

"Let's get looking," said Godric.

The teachers left. As soon as the door shut, Harry and Hermione got out of the closet. Harry looked around and saw portraits of the House leaders on the wall. His heart stopped.

_He was looking at himself._

"Hermione, look," said Harry. He pointed to the painting of Godric. Godric smiled at him and waved, then continued on doing whatever it was he was doing before Harry talked to him.

"Why, Harry," said Hermione, stunned. "That -- that looks like you!"

"I know!"

Hermione walked closer to the picture. "If that's you, then why are you in Slytherin in this time?"

Harry shook his head. I don't know. Maybe Godric has never seen me before. Maybe we're in someone else's body, but we still look like ourselves to each other."

Harry looked around and saw a mirror. He walked over to the mirror and saw -- well, whoever he saw, it wasn't him.

"I think you're right," said Hermione, looking at the mirror. "But what about the portrait? Do you think that you might be Gryffindor's heir?"

Harry looked at the portrait of Slytherin and saw the face of Tom. He thought about the Sorting Hat wanting to put him in Slytherin, then about the sword of Gryffindor.

"I don't know," he answered honestly.

"Harry, I'm horney," said Hermione.

Harry gaped at her. "What?"

"You heard me. Let's have sex again."

"Hermione, this is oddly random. And you're pregnant."

Hermione's voice turned somewhat lower. "Harry, I'm suffering from the effects of the bean; I'm still in love with you! Let's do it! Right here, right now!"

"No."

Even though Harry said no, he couldn't help feeling the same way Hermione did.

"Fine," she said, disappointed.

"Work first, pleasure later," said Harry.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"OK, good. Now, speaking of work, let's get to it, shall we?"

They left the teacher's room and went down the hall. They continued to look around, still amazed at what a thousand years can do to a castle. Harry looked out a window and saw that the sun was setting. He also saw a figure running towards the woods. He stopped and looked closer; it was Slytherin.

"Hermione," said Harry. "Look! It's Slytherin! He's going towards the Forbidden Forest!"

Hermione ran over to the window and looked out. "It is!" she said. "Where do you think he's going?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, we should follow him."

"Yeah. Let's go."

They ran down the hall and headed for the doors that lead outside from the Entrance Hall. As soon as they opened them, they sprinted towards the Forbidden Forest to where they saw Salazar running just moments ago.

As soon as they got to the edge of the forest, Harry and Hermione looked around. There was no hut and no Hagrid, so things were a bit different.

"No hut," said Hermione, voicing Harry's thoughts.

"Yeah. Oh well. Come on, let's go look for Slytherin."

They ran into the forest and looked around. The forest had sure changed from one thousand years prior; it was a lot darker.

"Come on," said Harry. "We can't be afraid. What's the worst that can happen?"

Hermione looked at him. "I'm not sure how much I want to find out."

"Well, we need to go find him, don't we?"

She nodded. "Let's go."

They continued their walk into the forest. They went very carefully, so as not to step on any twigs and scare off Slytherin. After they had walked for about ten minutes, the sun had completely gone down and they began to hear voices.

"How is the process going?" came a dark, deep voice.

"The chamber is nearly built," said the voice that Harry recognized to be Slytherin's.

"And the basilisk? How is that coming along?"

"It has nearly hatched, sir."

Harry froze. The basilisk. He remembered back in second year when he had had to fight that. He looked at Hermione. She seemed to remember it as well, having to be Petrified and all.

"Good," said the dark voice. "I want this done by the end of the year. Muggle-borns can't walk freely in the wizarding world."

"No."

"Now. Go."

A body stood up, and Harry figured that was Slytherin. The body started walking towards the edge of the forest, and soon after the image disappeared, another body arose and heading deeper into the forest.

"Well," whispered Hermione. "That was interesting. So the whole chamber and basilisk thing wasn't _completely _Slytherin's idea."

"No," said Harry.

A twig snapped behind them. Harry and Hermione jumped and turned. They sat in silence for a few seconds.

"What was that?" asked Harry in a whisper so soft Hermione could barely hear it.

"I don't know," replied Hermione in the same way.

"You two are far too nosey," came the voice that Harry had learned to dread; Slytherin.

Back in Slytherin's office, Harry and Hermione sat staring into the fire.

"Wandering around on a school night, are we? Is detention not good enough for the both of you? Now I must take matters into my own hands. See, I've been thinking of challenges that will help me get stronger, but I don't know how safe they are. It's come to my understanding that neither one of your parents care about you. So, if you die, I'm sure they'll be happy."

Harry felt anger swell up inside of him. He knew what it was like to be unloved, and Slytherin had to rub it in by saying that they might die and no one would care.

"Don't take it so close to heart; you know that I speak the truth. So, I propose that you try my many challenges. The first one I dare you to do is to spend a full night in the Forbidden Forest. Tonight, in fact. So go. And beware, it's a full moon out there, so I'd be extra careful if I were you."

He motioned for them to leave his office, and they did so, not wanting to cause any trouble. They went to the Entrance Hall, then left the castle to head for the Forbidden Forest for their punishment.

"This sucks," said Hermione, clearly upset.

"I know," said Harry. "I wish he hadn't caught us already."

Hermione stopped suddenly and sat down, putting a hand on her stomach. She winced and looked like she was about to be sick.

"Hermione!" said Harry, rushing over to her and putting a hand around her. "Are you OK?"

She winced, then nodded. "I just feel very -- strange, that's all."

"D'you think it's the baby?"

She thought for a moment. "It's possible. I could be entering the first stage of the pregnancy. That's the sickness part."

Harry nodded. "Well, I hope you'll be OK. We have a long night ahead of us."

They entered the Forbidden Forest and Harry looked around. It was surely a lot darker than it had been when he had entered in his first year, but that, of course, was one thousand years after this. He was still trying to get used to all the changes, but he was sure he was going to make it through.

Hermione's voice cut into his thoughts. "Harry? Are you OK? You look a little -- well -- lost, to say the least."

Harry shook his head. "I'm fine. I'm just wondering about all of this. How we're going to survive now. Especially tonight."

She nodded in agreement. "Especially tonight. I really hope we survive."

There was a growl behind them, then the sound of a wolf howling towards the moon right after. Harry froze, as did Hermione. They looked around, not breathing, trying not to make a sound, looking for the source of the noise. When they couldn't find one, Harry just sat down, closely followed by Hermione. There was another growl. The solid shape of a wolf came out of the shadows and sat in the sunlight.

"Er -- Harry?" asked Hermione. She started backing up very slowly.

"Yeah?" said Harry shakily, following Hermione's suit.

"What are we going to do now?"

The wolf started pacing with them, staying no more than three feet from them. It continued to growl, baring its teeth.

"Run!" said Harry as the wolf lunged for him. He and Hermione spun around and started sprinting for the nearest opening, closely followed by the wolf. They ducked under branches, dodged around rocks, slid around trees, and jumped over holes, but they couldn't seem to get the wolf off of their tails. They began to get tired, but they knew the wolf wasn't going to give up too easily.

"Where are we going to go?" panted Hermione.

Harry thought back to second year and thought of the cave that Aragog stayed in.

"I think I know a place," he panted. "Come on! Just keep running!"

They continued to run. Harry tried to remember the exact location, and as soon as they got there, he and Hermione ran into the cave and hid inside the shadows. The wolf ran right past them.

After about three seconds of waiting to make sure the wolf was gone, Hermione spoke.

"That was close," she whispered in a tired voice.

"Close enough," said Harry. He stood in the cave opening, waiting for the wolf to disappear.

"This is so strange," said Hermione, looking around the cave.

"I know," said Harry. "This kind of looks like the cave Aragog lives in...or will live in, rather."

"No, not the cave. Just -- this. I mean, living one thousand years ago. It's just...very strange." She poked her head out of the cave. "Erm -- I think that the wolf is gone now." She turned back to Harry. "Come on, let's go."

Harry scrambled out of the cave.

"Wow," he said, looking up at the moon, which was full. "This is so beautiful." He started walking back to the entrance of the forest.

"Do you think that Slytherin will allow us to stop our detention?" asked Hermione. "I mean, with the whole wolf thing and everything?"

Harry shrugged. "Not if he's anything like Snape..." Harry paused and thought back to Snape's viciousness. "You know...I never thought I'd say this, but, well, I sort of miss Snape."

Hermione goggled at him. "You what?"

"Yeah," said Harry, surprising even himself with the strange words coming out of his mouth. "I mean, what if he's so mean? He's probably a lot better than Slytherin is..."

They heard a scream back towards the entrance of the Forbidden Forest.

"Let's go see what it is," said Hermione.

Harry nodded and they started sprinting for the entrance of the Forest. They dodged tree branches, hopped over logs, and ran through little streams before they reached the entrance, panting.

"What do you think that was?"

They heard shouting coming from the Great Hall.

"I've told you to stop that!" came the voice of a lady.

"Let's get in and see what's going on," said Harry.

They ran up the stone steps and tried to open the doors, finding that they were locked. Harry tried _Alohomora_, but the doors still refused to open.

"Oh!" said Hermione. "What are we going to do?"

Harry looked left. "Ever heard of a window?" Hermione looked left with him. She nodded and Harry went over to the nearest window, broke it, and they entered the castle.

"Rowena!" came a male voice. "Stay away from him! He's clearly gone mad!"

Harry and Hermione walked towards the Great Hall.

"You have all betrayed me!" came a male voice. "You all have betrayed the school! How many times have I told you? It would all end this way!"

Harry and Hermione opened the door to the Great Hall. They looked in and saw about two other students standing, with their mouths open, at the fight between the House Leaders.

"Oh no!" said Hermione. "This must be the point where Slytherin decides that he's no good for the school anymore!"

Helga put up her hand. "Salazar, to be honest with you, I have no care for what you have said in the past." There was no mistaking the malice in her voice. "And I'm sure that I can find at least three people who will agree with me." She looked around the room as if daring anybody to stand up to her; no one did. "But you listen to me; I don't care that you want to be more selective of your students. We've gotten along fine with the Muggles that we have!"

"No!" said Salazar. Harry noticed that he was holding up his wand; it seemed to be pointing to the students. "Muggles are betrayers! They were never meant for the wizarding world!" He turned to the students. "Look at these two. I'm sorry that you had to be the first two Muggles to come in at a time liek this, but I'm afraid your lives are spent." He put his wand right under the chin of one of the Muggles, a girl, and she winced.

"Salazar," said Godric. "If you hurt either of these students, I swear you will wish that you've never been born."

Slytherin let out a long, boastful laugh. "I can think of only one mistake in my life that I have made. You want to know what it is? Making this school with a bunch of fools!" His laughed turned into more of a cackle. "You two apparently do not understand what real power is like. Having it at your mere fingertips! Aarg!"

His hand dropped his wand and immediately went to his injured arm. Harry looked at Hermione, thinking that she'd done something, but there was no wand to be seen in her hands. He looked around the room; Godric had pulled out his wand and apparently muttered some sort of curse to get Slytherin to drop his wand.

"You see what happens," he said slowly, "when you make it three against one? Any of us could have just pulled out our wands. You apparently forgot to think that one out. _Rictusempra!_" Slytherin flew backwards and landed on a table. Godric walked over to the students and began untying their ropes. "Tell no one of what you have seen," he said.

Harry and Hermione exited quickly before the students could see they were in there, since they had apparently gone unnoticed so far. They sat by the stairs and the students ran up them, clearly so frightened that they didn't even look around at them.

Harry and Hermione got up and walked back to the Great Hall. They opened the door only a little, so as not to be seen at all. They could see Godric helping Slytherin up. Slytherin seemed to be unconscious, but that didn't seem to bother Godric.

"Come on," they heard him say. "We'll get him to the hospital wing and tell them he fell in the Great Hall. We'll discuss more of this evenings events when he fully recovers."

Harry and Hermione hurried away from the door again, sitting back in their original spot by the stairs. Helga, Rowena, Godric, and Salazar all came out, not noticing them. Godric took Salazar up the stairs, Helga went to the dungeons to go back to her common room, and as soon as they got to the top, Rowena went the opposite way of Godric to go to the Ravenclaw common room.

After they had all gone, Hermione spoke.

"Well," she said. "This will be a lot easier than I thought."

Harry turned to her. "What will."

Hermione picked up a candlestick and hit him on the head with it, knocking Harry unconscious. She dragged him over to the stairs, picked him up, and started carrying him.

"Killing you, of course," she said to herself. "You're the sacrifice that will bring Salazar back to life in our time."


	8. The Rebirth of Salazar Slytherin

_**CHAPTER EIGHT: The Rebirth of Salazar Slytherin **_

Hermione dragged Harry to an empty classroom and lay him on the floor. She left and went to the dungeons, got cauldrons and a few ingredients, and went back to the classroom. When she returned, she found that Harry was awake.

"Ah, so nice of you to rejoin us, Harry!" she said cheerfully. "I was beginning to think that I hit you too hard for your own good!"

Harry rubbed his head. "Hermione -- what -- what's going on? What do you mean you hit me?" He groaned.

Hermione shook her head. "I'm not Hermione! Gee! I thought you might have noticed that by now!"

"Not Hermione?" Harry felt utterly confused now. "Do you mind telling me who you are, then?"

Hermione smiled. "Your worst enemy."

Harry thought for a moment. He knew who his worst enemy was, but it couldn't have been Hermione! She was -- well -- _Hermione_.

"You're lying!" shouted Harry.

Hermione laughed. "Oh, no, I'm afraid I'm not. See, there is a perfectly good explanation as to why you're here. Allow me to tell it to you. See, there's the story of Salazar leaving the castle. We all know that story. But then there's the untold story; the real story. Salazar didn't leave the castle. Not on his own will, at least. They murdered him. Godric, Rowena, and Helga. Yes, that's right, I said it. They murdered him and made it look like an accident. He's still alive right now, but they're also having a secret meeting. My great-great -- actually, I'm not sure how many 'greats' our in it -- grandfather, before he died, found the journals of each of the other House Leaders. He found out that they were plotting against him. They killed him, but his story lived on. See, he's married right now, presently, and has two children. They just don't live with him. He kept the four diaries, and after he died, his wife was lucky enough to find them in his office. She kept the journals, plotting revenge against the other House Leaders, and passed them down from generation to generation until, finally, it got to me. So, I've read the journals each about thirty times, and I realized how to get revenge. See, Salazar's wife never got to kill any of the pathetic other 'House Leaders' because they all died before she got to them. But, even though they died, their heirs lived. And yes, in the journal, it clearly states that Godric was the one who killed Salazar. Now, as you may have just recently found out, you are Godric's heir. So, I did some studies, and I realized something: I could resurrect my wrongly murdered grandfather, by sacrificing you. Oh, yes, dear boy. You. I didn't realize you were his heir until I tried killing you and you lived. Your mother wasn't the only person protecting you that night.

"So, as I was saying. Resurrection. If I could sacrifice the heir of the person who killed my grandfather, then I could bring him back to life to reign again. But, it was more complicated then I had expected. See, in order to do this, I had to go back to the time when the person was wrongfully murdered. Which, as you see, has been done. Now I have to wait until he dies, find his body, and put yours and his blood together. Then, as soon as that happens, I bring both of you back to where we came from. See, now this was the tricky part. We needed a girl for this, because someone has to get pregnant and carry the baby. That's where precious Hermione comes in. See, not only did we need the heir of the person who was murdered, but we needed the blood of the heir of the murderer.

"Long and complicated, isn't it? Well, I've only just begun. So, I figured that I could start this whole jelly bean thing by possessing Fred and George so that way I could bring you and Hermione together. Literally. So, now that I am pregnant, well, Hermione, really, as soon as your blood touches his, I shall skip the whole nine months and just have the baby. And then there was the fact that I've heard so much about you being naked, and I was never as straight as everyone thought, so I was glad to have sex with you, Harry."

Harry stared at Hermione for a long, long time. "You know, for someone as gay and evil as you, that's actually very brilliant."

"Why, thank you," said Hermione, hiding her blushing face.

"And actually very stupid."

Hermione gave him a long, cold look. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Everything's gone great! Nothing can stand in my way now!"

"Actually, I can."

"What do you mean?"

"OK, Voldemort: If you live through this, remember this for future references: when you're planning on sacrificing somebody, and you have to wait to do it, don't tell them that you're going to kill them! Salazar isn't even dead yet! We have to wait for that! And you need me alive in order to get him, so that leaves me that much more time to start thinking of a plan and start ruining yours." Harry laughed. "You are very stupid, though, even though the plan was brilliant. Until now, that is."

Hermione gave out a long, cold "Grrr!"

Harry laughed.

"You think that you're so intelligent, do you?" she said. "Well, remember that I'm in the body of the smartest girl in your school. I could search into her memory and look up a spell to keep you barely alive until Salazar dies."

"Well, there's another 'stupidity' part of your plan. You know that they're going to kill him, you're back now, why don't you just stop them from killing him?"

"Because of the great sex!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm officially disgusted now."

"Well, OK, there's some more complications. Since this isn't actually Hermione, she's still a virgin. After all of this, so will her body. Yeah, I know, it's complicated. And since her body's officially stayed a virgin, you are too. So don't worry."

"You speak in riddles."

"Deal with it."

Harry shrugged. "OK. If you say so."

There was a noise. Hermione looked around and Harry seized the moment and picked up a desk.

"Hey, Voldy," he said.

Hermione turned.

"Kill this!" With that, he shoved the desk into her face. She fell backwards, hitting her head on the floor, clearly unconscious. Harry wanted to kill her, but knowing that Hermione was still somewhere inside of her made him stop.

Harry ran over to her and picked her up.

"You should be happy that you're in the body of one of my best friends Voldemort."

To Harry's complete and utter shock, Hermione's eyes opened.

"What?" Harry asked, clearly shocked.

Hermione's lips curled into a sneer.

"You don't honestly think that you can get rid of me by a mere hit on the head, do you?"

Harry dropped Hermione and slowly started backing away from her, his face still contorted in shock.

Hermione picked herself up from the ground and started walking towards Harry.

"You know what? You can't save Hermione now."

Hermione lifted her hands and started chanting.

"Raccio Imlendio Arrana!" Hermione shouted and lifted up her arms. A bright white light shone around her and Harry had to shield his eyes in fear that he would go blind if he continued looking at it. A white outline of a body came out of Hermione's body and Hermione fell to the ground. The white outline become solid and took the shape of a man holding a baby.

"What the ---"

Harry looked at the man, who had a sneer on his face.

"I want to thank you, Harry Potter, for being here for the rebirth of Salazar Slytherin," said a voice Harry only knew as Voldemort's.

"B-but h-he's still alive right now," Harry said in complete and total bewilderment. "H-how can he be reborn?"

"It's very interesting how that works," said Voldemort. "I did a lot of studies on resurrecting, but he had a very interesting way about doing it. I had to bring the girl I impregnated back into the time where Salazar roamed freely. Of course, as you know, I had to possess the girl first so it would work. I couldn't merely have sex with a girl and have my sperm be the spawn of a new Slytherin. I then had to, again as I said, bring the girl back and cast the spell that would bring me and Slytherin out of her." Voldemort cast a weary glance over to Hermione's unconscious body on the floor. "Don't worry your little head, Potter. She'll be fine. Unfortunately."

Harry's head spun. He didn't know how any of this could be happening.

"S-so what's going to happen now?" he asked.

"Well, I will have to take you and your little friend here back to the time you come from. Then, of course, Salazar and I will re-rule the world. I going back will speed his life up just enough to where he will be an adult. It's a long and complicated process for your small and fragile little mind, I'm quite aware, but you really must understand that, as one of the greatest rulers of darkness, I really must do what I have to do in order for evil to still have a name in those days. Don't worry, though. I do believe that you will get quite a bit of recognition for this. After all, it was half your fault that this happened. You stuck it in her and now look at the consequences. I know that this is one of the greatest issues among young people these days, and I must say. Look at what it brings you. Nothing but pain and sorrow. And here you thought you were going to actually be a good father." Voldemort sneered. "You really are just an insolent, stupid little teenage hormone, aren't you, Potter? Oh well. I guess I'll just have to remain ruling while you try to be my competition."

Harry's face fumed. He couldn't believe one word of what Voldemort was saying. It was so much to process and he wasn't quite sure how well he could do it. He started shaking uncontrollably. He looked over at Hermione and noticed that she was waking up.

"Hermione!" Harry shouted and ran over to her side. Voldemort kept his eye on Harry the whole time. Harry knelt by Hermione and grabbed her, holding her in his arms. "Hermione! Are you ok?"

"H-Harry?" said Hermione wearily. "What's going on?"

"Hermione, we're in great danger!"

Hermione sighed. "Again?"

Harry smiled, despite the fact that they were, indeed, in great danger.

"Listen, Hermione. I need you to get up and walk. We have to get out of here."

Voldemort scoffed. "Potter! Go to the Magical Managerie and buy yourself a brain! I'm standing about two feet away from you and you're coming up with escape plans! It isn't going to work, I'm so sorry to inform you of that."

Harry breathed hard and tried not to lose his temper. "Look, I didn't say I'm trying to escape. You're going to take us back to our world anyway."

Voldemort nodded. "Don't try to outsmart me. I will make sure that you and your friends - every last one of them - will die. Just like your parents."

Harry sprung up and lunged at Voldemort, punching and kicking.

"How dare you talk about my parents! You stupid -" he punched Voldemort "--little--" he kicked Voldemort "--jerk!"

Voldemort threw Harry off of him and pulled out his wand.

"Don't even try to outdo me, Potter! I will kill you in an instant!"

Harry froze and looked at Voldemort's wand. His world closed in around him and he could hear a faint voice in the back of his head.

"_No! Leave him alone!_"

"Mum?" Harry muttered to himself.

Voldemort's face contorted into confusion. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

"_Take me!_"

"Mum!" Harry shouted.

"You fool!"

Voldemort raised his wand.

"_Avada -_"

"_Rictusempra!_"

Harry looked towards Hermione and saw her with her wand pointed at Voldemort. Voldemort flew backwards and landed in the corner of the room, hitting his head on the windowsill and knocking himself out. The baby Salazar stayed close in his arms as if he refused to let go or as if he were stuck there. Harry ran over to him and took his wand, pointing it at him.

"All right, Hermione. We need to find a way to get ourselves back home and make sure Voldemort and Salazar don't regain power."

"Harry, what's going on?" Hermione asked.

Harry summed up the story as quickly as he could. When he finished, Hermione looked towards the ground and started crying.

"That's so terrible!"

"I know, but we need to get out of here!"

Hermione sniffed, wiped a tear from her eye, and nodded. "Ok. I just need to find a way to get to the dungeons so I can get some potions ingredients. Unless everything is changed around. This will be oh so complicated."

Voldemort turned and awoke. Salazar started crying. Voldemort muttered something Harry couldn't comprehend, and before he knew it, they were back in the present day. The sun was shining.

Harry kicked Voldemort in the head and Voldemort fell, unconscious again. Harry opened the door and looked around. Everyone seemed normal. No one was randomly snogging each other, and no one seemed to have any recollection of anything. Harry spotted Ron coming down the hall.

"Ron, have you snogged anybody?" Harry asked.

Ron looked apolled. "No! Not since I was around the age of ten! Why?"

Harry shook his head. "Never mind."

Harry shut the door and blocked Ron's voice out of his mind.

"Hermione, no one remembers anything!"

Hermione shook her head. "Well, maybe you're the only one because you were there for everything."

Harry nodded towards Voldemort.

"What are we going to do about him?"

Voldemort's eyes snapped open and he stood up.

"I've made it!" he said. "I've made it into Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Everyone will bow down to me!"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"I hope you are aware that you will never succeed. Look at what you're holding. Salazar is still a baby."

Hermione pulled out her wand and pointed it at baby Salazar.

"_Avada Kadavra!_"

A bright green light shot out of Hermione's wand and hit baby Salazar head on. Voldemort screamed and ran out of the room, somehow disappearing in the process.

"Well, that was short and sweet," said Hermione.

A couple of days later, Harry had spread the story of what happened to everybody. Not as many people were as disgusted as he thought. The only people he could see disgust written all over the faces of were Fred and George.

"I can't believe we made something so vile," said Fred.

"And to make it worse, we used it on each other," said George.

Harry smiled.

"Well, I hope this puts an end to all of your inventions for a while. Well, things meddling with emotions at least. If you honestly feel like making more jokes that will get us out of class, please, by all means, just use it on us!"

Hermione shook her head. "I can't believe you still want to get out of class. You guys had no class for basically all year because of all the snogging going on! I particularly can't wait until the N.E.W.T.s come because I can't wait to take them."

"Hermione, get over it," said Ron. "We don't have N.E.W.T.s this year because of everything that happened. I believe that you should just take your books and go home because you're never going to win here."

Hermione's mouth dropped open in shock. "I can't believe you just said that to me?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I see that we all are definitely back to normal here."

Hermione flushed. "Just because I fight with Ron more than you doesn't mean you have to get so jealous, Harry."

"I'm not jealous! I get so tired of you two fighting all the time and then running to me to save all of your problems for you!"

Hermione scoffed. "Well, if you wouldn't get in the way all the time then maybe we would be able to sort out our problems without any of your help! You always have to be the hero, don't you?"

Ron nodded. "I think I might actually have to agree. Hermione and I need to fight to get things out and sort them and here you come along trying to plot against us to make us 'love' each other or whatnot. It gets old after a while."

Harry once again couldn't believe his ears. "Well, maybe I should find a way to let you two hear yourselves! Trust me, if you were stuck in my position you would try to make everyone stop fighting! It gets annoying listening to you two bicker at each other all the time! You know that?"

Hermione fumed. "Well, maybe you should walk away instead of trying to pry your nose into our personal business!"

"I'm seriously going to have to bring a tape recorder here, aren't I? Bring the Muggle world into the Wizarding world? You two need to hear how you sound."

"Well, maybe you should use one too so you can here how heroic you try to sound!" said Ron. "You don't know how annoying that is either!"

"I've had it with you two!" shouted Harry at the top of his lungs.

Fred and George were snickering as they were listening to the conversation. "Hey, I think that we need to make another love potion. One just to make people stop fighting, not one to make you snog everyone you see," said Fred.

"Oh, that plotting," said George.


End file.
